Han Solo, Brexit, and the Starship Enterprise

While promoting his new Star Trek movie, the talented comedy writer and actor Simon Pegg stated that the entire crew of the Starship Enterprise would have voted Remain in Britain’s EU referendum.

Thanks for that Simon, but actually that much was obvious already- the Enterprise is basically Brussels in space.

Watch any episode of Star Trek, from any era, and you’ll notice that the crew have very tidy hair, and there will be some neatly trimmed beards on show. They wear characterless, colour coded uniforms, and appear uptight and restricted in each other’s company.

While traversing the universe, they adhere slavishly to a hierarchical protocol, while doing the work of the Federation without question or free will.

Endlessly moralistic, they over-earnestly presume at all times that their particular set of ethics- or rather the ethics coded into the political structure of which they are a subservient extraction- are universally correct and should be applied everywhere and in all circumstances. Despite their pride in intellectualism and emotional control, or perhaps because of it, they never sincerely engage with the alien worlds they visit, or the civilisations they encounter. Smug and self-satisfied, this collection of astral nitwits simply analyses those who are different to them, not exactly arrogant, just in dull ignorance of their own bad attitude. Their constant ambition is to educate those who are different until they become less different.

Crucially, they are on a mission, not an adventure, and being government funded are entirely reliant on the bossy planners at the Federation.

Although it should be incredible fun to fly around in a big space ship, Star Trek sucks the life out of the idea. The show’s mentality is nothing to be aspired to or inspired by, its key messages being sterile detachment, emotional denial, and conformity. When it comes down to it the crew of the strangely featureless Starship Enterprise are boring, obsequious do-gooders- dullards and yes men surrounded by creepy, too clean technology. Even their guns look shit.

No, bollocks to Star Trek- what I want to know is which way Han Solo would’ve voted, because from where I’m standing the European Commission is looking increasingly like a malfunctioning Death Star. (Claude Juncker isn’t Darth Vader though. For all his faults, Vader was menacing, astute, and had a soul to be saved.)

In Star Wars, the Rebel Alliance were an unorthodox, ramshackle militia. They didn’t worry about conforming to particular standards of appearance. They don’t care much for the infantilising kitsch of co-ordinated uniforms. There is no petty jobsworth saluting and no time wasting, ceremonial pretense.

Unlike the bean sourcing Guardian subscribers who crew the Starship Enterprise, the Alliance were authentically diverse and self starting- a genuine rainbow coalition, whose allegiances and shared aims bridged cavernous social differences. Aristocrats and royalty join arms with outlaws and farm hands in common cause against an anti-democratic, over-reaching empire.

The inventive rebels don’t get bogged down by long-term moralising, and there’s no insistence on conformity of thought or subservience to authority. Rather, with an uncomplicated, noble pragmatism and a desire to get what must be done, done, they put aside their differences in the pursuit of self-determination and fair governance.

As with any coalition that moves against an out-of-control establishment, they have to resist constant attack, but Han Solo has a sense of humour and Emperor Palpatine doesn’t, and it’s surprising how much of an advantage that can be.

So I already know which way those who travelled on the Millennium Falcon would’ve voted, had they stopped off at a polling booth on 23rd June- they would’ve ticked the opposite box to the crew of the Starship Enterprise.

Or spoiled the ballot paper.