Mitch McConnell… bored… builds brick wall around White House.
It was a beautiful day in the mind of Mitch McConnell, as he awoke on the morning of March, 16, 2016. Feeling feverishly vindicated by his mission statement that he repeats to himself every day, he repeated the mantra, “I shall block Barack, I shall block Barack, I shall block Barack. It will be a flipping sweet victory too.”
He put on his old man suit, walked downstairs, and made eye contact with his “dart-bombed” poster of Beaker from Sesame Street. He squinted sternly at his counterpart, as a stare-off was in the works. He later arrived at Home Depot. He revealed to everyone around him the pick-up truck that he had, a Republican elephant emblazoned on it, and a small U-Haul trailer dragging behind because Mitch had never attached a trailer, replaced old motor oil, or changed out a flat tire because lacks even the remotest inkling of manly qualities.
He bought a surplus of bricks and mortar, and made his way down the road to the white house. The secret service agents bowed down and let him in. Mitch made his way to the front of the white house, breathed in some fresh air, and started building a wall to barricade the white house. A proud moment for all Republicans was surely in the works.
Mitch was later detained by Obama himself, and catapulted into his private lion’s den, directly below the oval office. No comments or concerns were EVER brought forth from Mitch’s family, friends, co-workers, former teachers, Sesame Street girl friends, or other distant acquaintances.
RIP, Mitch, but not really.
— — — — Obama awoke from his pleasant dream, feeling vindicated, he grinned from ear to ear.