Leaked: Barkha Dutt disclosed the secrets of ZeusThetaZombiexm0067 to Saturn

Barkha Dutt is not from Pakistan and she didn’t marry Bin Laden’s uncles’ cousins’ third cousin. The trickyleaks has proven it. She is not even from this planet and definitely not from Lutyens Delhi which is a synonym of Mini Pakistan with its liberals still in daze after they realized a few days back that the food they were eating was smuggled from Pakistan by her. That’s why she wears big dresses. She has to carry many ID cards, issued by ISI and many such agencies from all across the Universe. She has her own cloud where she stores all of her espionage secrets. And, if you Scan her passport, your eyes will become blind as ZeusThetaZombiexm0067 has put a chip in it which will make you forget your own nationality and jingoism.

Now, what is ZeusThetaZombie0067? Now don’t tell me that you didn’t hear the warning of Hawking about an alien planet? It is the star which has converted into planet by a surgical stride. It is a special planet which has a long dispute with the planet Saturn over its moon Enceladus. Not enchiladas. Don’t talk food, stupid! Here the situation is grim. Barkha Dutt is actually not from the Planet Earth. Trickyleaks has certified it vehemently, so much so the certificate is also missing from the files! Barkha was born as Back Detour and was planted into our planet by the ZTZ7 (short acronym of her planet). Now ZTZ7 has many Countries. But she represents the planet on the whole. There is an intefada in enceladus where the invisible zombies want to destroy Saturn and merge with a bang with ZTZ7.

Back Detour was lured by Enceladus and its clan of frustrated Zombies to double-cross. It so happened that the experiment was a success, without even Back Detour’s own knowledge about it. The zombies are still there but because the Saturn has released new gas, they think they are in ZTZ7. And of course, they believe in the notion that they think so they exist. Zombies then planned to send her to the planet Earth, yes my friend the same planet where people kill each other. She decided to arrive at Earth by her own choice. Everything is about choices, from Burkini to Burkina Faso.

In ZTZ7 they don’t kill as they convert any form of life into a Zombie. What did you say? The same happens on Earth? Wow! Back Detour was married to many zeople (that’s what they call life out there, in her planet) but surprisingly no one saw her with her loosebands (again a vocabulary from her planet) in any public space!

She is now permanently on planet Earth and she is so dangerous that she creates wars and makes people die. Suddenly, in 2014 she was made the villain of the Kargil war after years because the ZTZ7 wanted to punish her for being friendly to the liberal zombies of Enceladus, who wanted peace with Saturn as well as with other planets. This is how things are. Trickyleaks finds it tricky. Liberal zombies? Well, they are certainly worse than the believing Zombies. Believing Zombies have that Z factor as they know A to Z of what they don’t understand. All the Believing Zombies want to send her to Pakistan but here they are mistaken! Didn’t this article say that she is from ZTZ7? She can’t stay in any Country then. The challenge is that she has lost her chip to login to the virtual spaceship (stolen design of the Pushpak Vimana, by the way!) and no one is offering her a Pakistani passport. Believing Zombies are very clever. They will say it 1000 times every day on “Chimes Now” TV studios that she is a Pakistani and one part of the Planet Earth will agree to that. So the next stage is a petition to replace her with Abdul Basit, so that officially she becomes a Pakistani. But, this will make the Believing Zombies sad as they need other woman to satisfy their stinking no-mind.

Back Detour doesn’t take any detour for what she stands for and some people who are by choice not part of zombie-land look at her as someone who is free to speak her mind. Mind? Well don’t ask the Believer Zombies, please!