How are you?

Hi friend! I am here writing to tell you about how my life is, since you always ask me, so lets’go.

Recently I made a big change in my life. I changed jobs after nine years, nine months and some days. I had the courage to leave the company that I thought was a comfort zone. After my vacation on the first day of work I was already worn out and it wasn’t even half of the day. I was completely exhausted, at night I took courage and requested the shutdown by email (it was a rough way I know) but I could no longer continue ruining my life. I didn’t even had arranged another job.

It was a quiet decision, without crisis of conscience, no remorse and being sincere I felt pretty good with that decision, I felt light, I felt free.

I was a Process and ERP Consultant well known in the market (I think) and I decided to throw it all away, seeking a life focused more in quality and my health.

In the meantime between my shutdown request and the final output, I accepted a job to be systems coordinator in a company in the retail segment. For fear of becoming unemployed, I accepted. Was it the best option? Do not know, yet. But so far I’m not sure if I like it, but it was a change. I don’t know if I’m happy with my decision to have accepted, and do the same thing but this time only for one costumer. I’m not upset because the team is good and fun. I’m in this new job for 57 days. And I think should have given myself time to think and find out more about my life before I started this new page.

I want to have a professional backup plan in my life, or at least something to distract my mind. I’m looking for something I enjoy and dedicate myself and strive me for it. I had some daydreaming about opening a business for me, but I don’t know if I want to do this before living in a different country. I would like to work(in my profession chosen) for 1 or 2 years at most to meet new business cultures, new ways of working, new colleagues, new knowledge.

Sometimes I think I’m moved to new knowledge, I need to know how it works, how, why, everything. But the old company discovered that this was not good, my knowledge has to be explored in a not very good shape, so I was less curious.

I wish I had the experience of living alone for a while, trying to build a family, but I need to practice detachment. I am very attached to my sister, mother, aunts and make a change like this is not so easy for me. I think the more time passes more afraid, afraid of the future and fear of making mistakes I am.

The hope I have is that I have the courage to make more drastic changes in my life, move to another country, fall in love, raise a family of mine, start a ‘Plan B’ profession, back to seek new knowledge without trauma. For I really hope for a better future for myself.

I’m okay. A bit tired and lazy, but I’m fine. Always seeking to improve.

The big hugs, take care.

Sandra Fonseca

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