๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ช๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐


Weโve been best buds since November 2012, after a very turbulent midlife crisis, transition and spiritual awakening.
My car breaking down.
My job breaking down.
My life breaking me down.
My suppressed emotions rising up from the depths of my personal hell, demanding to be acknowledged.
I couldnโt run from myself.
Not anymore.
I fought tooth, nail, blood and tears from awakening up to an awareness of full blown RAGE. More about that another time.
From 2011 to 2012 my empathic abilities woke me up to a threat to my job security.
I tried everything to alleviate the fear, new clothes, professional hair style, learned more, did moreโฆ.
And when my corporate consultant asked me how I was doingโฆ.
My answer always was, Iโm holding by the tips of my fingers and theyโre breaking.
Her response, It is what it is.
I knew about her lifeโs challenges and she could never be supportive in a way that told me the truth- you arenโt fit for this.
I hated Christmas parties, but I showed up well dressed.
I loved the New Years party, because I invited my friend and who wore a kilt.
See, Iโm incredibly disrespectful, irreverent and at this time a closeted rebel.
And in mostly bad moments those traits rose up and exposedย me.
In the black community, being a black woman and whatever cultural imposed restrictions placed on me I often stood out even when I was trying NOT to.
I had fun that night, not because of the alcohol, but because my rebellious nature or in the black community, I let my freak flag fly!
I like white men.
I LOVE kilts.
He represented both for me in front of them and he was so assholishly confident in himself, he wasnโt phased.
He was an amazing friend for me that night.
But the next day it all went back to normal.
The invisible threat.
Then the invisible became visible.
The verbal abuse, the humiliation and embarrassment.
My boss ripped holes in his employees in front of residents, families and other employees. He came into my office and ripped me a new one too.
I was in pieces as my now former BF, ran interference.
A month later, my consultant told me to file a complaint on him. He was working behind the scenes to fire me.
I was one of the best HR managers in the corporation. My office was flawless. I received no fines and knew my job.
Not one reported complaint.
But the job I refused was kissing hisย ass.
I out lasted 7โ9 administrators in 2.5 years.
I cursed that man. I now bless him with the same vigor.
I wouldnโt have moved or left my job without him.
The report saved my job and I was moved to another facility in anotherย city.
Source Energy removed me from any and all support. I was a stranger among strangers.
It was the beginning of our relationship, Source Energy sent Archangel Michael to guard and guide me through my midlife crisis and the dissolution of my old life.
Mercury RX was bold, arrogant and unrelenting as he broke my security blanketsโฆmy car, my apartment, my job, my moneyโฆMy Identity.
I had to RE-learn, RE-do, RE-buildโฆ. lets just say he taught me a lot about adding RE to actionsโฆ
Transforming the poisonous beliefs I was suffering from.
I was taught wrong.
I was raised wrong.
And the results that was ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ was wrong.
And the end came from my car breaking down, chugging to the side of the road as I was on my way home from work on aย Sunday.
And instead of falling apart, recounting the colossal failure I was, beating myself downโฆ.. I laughed.
๐A deep belly, genuine laughter bubbled up from beneath the pain.
And I said, I want more of that. Iโll do what you want, but I WANT more of that goodness of feelings. The absence of pain.
I laugh A LOT now.
I see the โgood and badโ
I see the hilarity of life and how stupid some of our choices are.
I laugh A LOT at myself.
I AM happy. I created the space of happiness within me and wherever I am, it is.
I donโt allow situations to become knots of trauma in my life, I love and laugh at it, I dissolve it and work it out like a magnificent masseuse and receive itโs wisdom.
The reason I donโt have a problem with Mercury is because I donโt allow myself to create problems where he needs to tap my ass again.
๐One year was more than enough.
If Mercury feels like a villain, your nemesis or doggs your every Retrograde.
Itโs time you have a deep conversation with him. Itโs called tough love.
All of Creation is working in your favor to raise you up into your truth and magnificence.
Suffering is our resistance to growing up and into our greatness.
It was never meant to be a permanent place of residence.


Hindsight Insight for 2020ย Vision
โThere is nothing subtle about the Divinity of the Universe.โ Calvin Witcher
How to align yourself to who youโre meant to be at this level.
Learn Moreย Here
Saqara Alexis, prophet of Infinite Love