When life is tough, help from your friends gets you mostly back to normal. The last bit comes from quieting the internal monologue that says, “You’re not good enough. Play it safe. It was your fault — no, really, just you. Someone else will do it. Lay low for awhile.” This is not okay and it stops you from doing real shit that matters. I wrote myself a tough love note to shut it down. Is it crazy? Sure. Did it help? Absolutely. If you need someone to offer you a bit of tough love to be braver and move on to better things, then imagine I’m writing this to you. Best of luck; I’m right there with you.
Dear inner monologue, please shut-up
Your company is shutting down. It’s a tough fact of startups — most fail. Lucky for you, you got to do your dream job, no matter how short-lived it was. You met insanely smart and talented people that you now consider close friends. You did the branding, community, and leadership work you have always craved and loved. Things are messy when they end. You feel people disappointed you. You feel like you disappointed people counting on you. You wrote a goodbye email to your community that broke your heart. Your confidence is shaken. Things didn’t turn into rainbows and unicorns. Someone else decided the future of the thing you’ve put all your love and soul into over the past year. It is unsettling, to say the least.
That’s done now.
Be thankful. So many people reached out with help and support. Every single one of them is dealing with their own shit and they took the time to see how you were doing. Respect that. It’s why you love Boston. It’s why you love building communities. So, what’s next?
- Breathe.
- Focus.
- Choose wisely.
Now, you can go do whatever you like. You can hide. You can pick a cushy job that pays well and brings you exactly what you expected. Don’t. Don’t cop out and pick something safe because you feel vulnerable or scared. Choose a problem. Choose to take what you’ve learned and be better. Choose a team that deserves every ounce of your trust. Choose to do something that leaves the world better than you found it; even if that sounds cheesy and bonkers. It’s glorious when it works — you’ve seen that magic, firsthand. That doesn’t mean you should feel entitled. No one owes you anything. Go out there and earn exactly what you want. Keep saying thank you, keep getting your hands dirty, and keep staying true to your values.
And as you think about what’s next, don’t forget what brings you joy: authentic people, a mission that’s grounded in doing good for people, and the chance to rise to the challenge. Every startup may fail, so make it fucking count.
