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One Month In.. Expectation vs Reality

I have been working from home for a little over a month now. And if you asked me yesterday, I was still happy about the decision to cut the chord of being tied to someone else’s dreams. Not to mention leaving a job that was taking its toll on me mentally, emotionally and physically, feels like a weight has been lifted. Today, as my bank account is shrinking and my jobs I have lined up are dwindling. And the Holidays are approaching like the four horsemen of the apocalypse. My old friend fear has pulled up a chair to the table to add its two cents. While my knee-jerk reaction is to cry and hide in bed, I know that is not going to solve anything.

When the Going Gets Tough

So today I will make a list of what I can do and start doing it. Are they the things I want to be doing? Not really, churning out content on content mills for a fraction of what I typically get paid does not leave me jumping for joy. Nor does sending out bids on photography jobs to less than the ideal client, but I have bills to pay, lots of bills to pay, so I have to do something. I guess I thought when I quit the 9 to 5 bullshit, all of these wonderful opportunities would come rushing to me like the cavalry ready to save me from my mundane existence.

And not that I haven’t had great opportunities, I have. Ones that I am so grateful for. I guess I just thought that it would be easier. So where do I go from here? I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But holy shit is it hard. I understand though, beneath this woe is me crap, that there is so much more out there for me. Maybe it’s just the weather. Overcast days always get me down. Check back tomorrow. Perhaps I will have found the answers.