Don Draper is a Rape Survivor
Let’s talk about that scene from “The Runaways”
Do not read if you have not seen episode five of Mad Men, “The Runaways.” Major spoilers ahead.
We need to talk about last night’s episode of Mad Men. Not because of Ginsberg’s self-mutilation and apparent mental illness, and not because the Don Draper with off-the-cuff pitches may be back.
We need to talk about the rape of Don Draper.
Last season we learned that while Don grew up in a brothel, one of the prostitutes raped him. We witness thirteen year old Dick Whitman feverishly lying in bed, as Aimee, who had been acting as a proxy mother, crawls into bed, asking, “ Don’t you want to know what all the fuss is about?” He says no, clearly, and he is ignored. Aimee rapes him.
I was horrified, but I was not in good company. As Abigail Rine notes in The Atlantic, many reviewers viewed it as just his first sexual encounter, a rite of passage, as “losing his virginty.” That’s simply not true. Rine further adds that if there was a gender reversal, it would unequivocally be condemned as the rape of a child.
Fast forward to last night’s episode, “The Runaways.” Don is in California for the primary reason of seeing Anna Draper’s niece, Stephanie. Instead, Stephanie is not present when he arrives, and Don soon finds himself alone on Megan’s porch, observing her very 1969 soiree. He is uncomfortable. He is out of place. When he returns from the bar, he retreats to the bedroom, announcing his intention to sleep. He sits on the bed, head in his hands. Megan’s friend Amy stands at the door: “I’m supposed to tuck you in.” Megan then stands next to her. As she approaches Don, he states, “Stop playing around, you’re stoned.”
As they sit on the bed, Don in the middle, Megan offers Amy to him: “Kiss her. I know you want to.” Don clearly responds, “I don’t want anything right now.” Megan presses her hand to his pants, “Don’t lie,” followed by a kiss and encouragement to kiss Amy as well. However, it is Amy that kisses him. As Megan gently pushes Don onto his back, she straddles him, and guides his hand towards Amy. Fade out.
What did you see? Ménage a trois? Yes. Consensual ménage a trois? No.
Don Draper was raped.
It is not the narrative normally presented on TV. It is not Cersei protesting in tears as Jamie rapes her in the sept next to their son’s body. It is not Anna screaming as a guest’s valet punches her in the face and proceeds to rape her, as a party goes on upstairs. It is not Law & Order: SVU.
“We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” Joan Didion famously wrote as the opening line for her essay, “The White Album,” recounting 1969 and the brooding dread culminating in the Manson murders. The typical narrative of rape is an unknown man assaulting a woman. The very definition of rape used by the US federal government, until recently, was coded towards women. The definition, conceived in 1927, and remaining unchanged until January 2012, defined rape as “ the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.” Antiquated language aside, it “meant that it was only an act of rape if a man forcibly penetrated a woman through her vagina. It excluded oral and anal penetration; rape of males; penetration of the vagina and anus with an object or body part other than the penis; rape of females by females; and non-forcible rape.” The revised definition of 2012 defined rape as “ The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” While this inclusive definition broadens our understanding of rape, it is still largely perceived as a women’s issue, specifically cis-gender heterosexual women. The narratives we consume on TV, for the most part, reinforce the stories we have been told, creating a skewed understanding of the world we live in.
When we are confronted with a narrative such as Don’s, the question of rape is simply not present. We don’t understand, and write it off as a steamy threesome, without mentioning that there was no consent given. The definition of consent varies, and in this case, it is best to turn to the definitions that some colleges employ. The definition used by Antioch College sets the foundation for consent as“ the act of willingly and verbally agreeing to engage in specific sexual conduct.” Reed College goes more in depth, demanding the standard of effective consent as “informed; freely and actively given; mutually understandable words or actions; which indicate a willingness to do the same thing, at the same time, in the same way, with each other.” The second definition illustrates a standard sometimes described as “enthuastic consent.” If at the very least we use consent as prescribed by Antioch College, the encounter between Don, Megan, and Amy does not pass.
We tell ourselves stories. It’s time that we include all stories of all genders and orientations. Don is a rape victim like Cersei is a rape victim like Anna is a rape victim.
If you’re not sure, follow Rine’s gender reversal test. What if Megan was in Don’s position, and Don and Harry (since both were at the bar together) were in the positions of Megan and Amy? Would it still be seen as a sex scene? Would Megan’s assertion, “I don’t want anything right now,” be brushed over?
It’s time to begin new narratives.
