The Problem Is Not In The Child

-Polly Berrien Berends

The best thing to read when trying to raise a child is the child. Maybe it is even more important that we learn to read ourselves…

In the beginning, our children don’t have any problems. They simply reflect our ignorance, just as a thermometer registers a fever. There is nothing you can do to the thermometer that will change the illness. You can shake down the thermometer so that the fever doesn’t show, but the fever itself is not affected. The problem is not in the child any more than the sickness is in the thermometer…

Now the interesting thing is that we don’t have problems either. We are only ignorant of truth. Actually ignorance is a positive step for most of us. We have to move from the wrong ideas we are certain of, to knowing that we don’t know. Once that occurs, understanding comes rapidly, for there is nothing to interfere with it…

Our children are not images of our selves but of our thoughts about ourselves…

But we must also have regard for them, for their right to be wrong or, more correctly, for their ability to learn to be right…

Sooner or later he must consciously seek truth as we are doing. When this time comes, he must have confidence that truth is and that he can perceive it. If we are constantly fixing our children, they will not have this confidence.