Political Philosophies Explained From A Simple Two-Cow Approach

Sarah R. Yazback
Jul 4, 2017 · 1 min read

-Author Unknown

Socialism: You have two cows.

Your government sees your neighbor in need and gives him one of your two cows.

Communism: You have two cows.

The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Fascism: You have two cows.

The government takes them and sells you the milk.

Nazism: You have two cows.

The government takes both and then shoots you.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

Capitalism: You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate: You have two cows.

You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy: You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

Judaism/Christianity/Islam: You have two cows.

You see your neighbor in need; you give him one of your two cows.

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