2016: Habits
This year, I’ll experiment with one new (or tweaked) behavior every month. Follow my journey, steal some ideas for yourself, and watch as I succeed or fail!
Yesterday I wrote about my 2016 intention, gratitude (catch up here if you missed it). But, as any good consultant will tell you, setting an intention is good for nothing if you don’t back it up with behavior.
There are many many many ways to set yourself up for behavior change. But the three that guide right now me are:
The Switch Methodology: Chip and Dan Heath’s book Switch is a great introduction to behavior change, and because the principles are general, they can apply to your personal goals or to organizational or national goals. With the framework of The Rider (logic), The Elephant (emotion) and The Path (the environment), this formula is sticky. In my case, I look at any particular change through these three perspectives to understand how I can set myself up for success.
The Next Action principle: There are some people who follow the Getting Things Done methodology to a T. But as much as I love what David Allen outlines, the only thing I practice regularly is this principle.
Let’s say I need to get Sherman’s (my car) oil changed. If I write “get oil changed” on a list, I’m much less likely to get it done because that’s not the next action. The first action? I need to look up a phone number for the Acura dealer. Then I need to call. Then I need to put it on my calendar, etc., etc. Using this framework keeps me moving towards a goal instead of being paralyzed by indecision!
Accountability: You’re reading it now.
As I always ask my coaching clients: “What will you do? When will you do it? How will I know?” I know. I’m really fun as a coach. But we’re not there for fun, really. We’re there to change.
Anyway.
I’m incredibly tough on myself, so even if I and I alone know I have missed a goal, I’ll be quite upset. In actuality, accountability takes many forms. At work, it’s OKRs (objectives and key results). At home, S is my accountability buddy. I use my calendar to check in with myself. And I blog.
So that’s it! There are a million ways to look at behavior change, but of everything I’ve read, these three resonate with me right now.
Which brings me to my January experiment
My first close encounter with a foreign language was in the fourth grade. There was some sort of program for “gifted” kids to learn some basic Spanish. I have few memories of those moments, but I do have a brightly-colored, Spanish-language restaurant menu that I created, complete with drawings and prices for tacos, enchiladas, and other things that seemed Mexican enough to a 10-year-old who knew no one of Latino descent.
This was before the language revolution. So it wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I came face-to-face with foreign language again. I had heard rumors about the Spanish teacher, and, with no desire to sink my grade point average, I registered for French.
It’s a beautiful language and feels lovely on the tongue. There was much that French gave me — certainly a better time traveling in France. But it also gave me friendship, laughter, and one very cute TA in college.
Ah, but if I had known.
We spent this Christmas in Chihuahua, Mexico — S’s hometown (read this post to learn a little more about my experiences in Chihuahua). S grew up with an American mom and a Mexican dad, so he and his siblings are bilingual, though he credits eight years in the USA for his (much improved) English. A few other family members speak English, but most don’t.
On Christmas Eve, I was again swimming in a sea of words I didn’t understand. They washed over me like waves — choppy, trilling, brilliant, beautiful, confusing words. Every now and then I could catch a snippet or, based on names, could understand the context for the conversation. But I was lost. And frustrated.
And lonely.
This wasn’t a new feeling, no. Not at all. My French? Not so useful. Those promises to learn Spanish? Still unfulfilled.
What excuses can I provide for not learning Spanish? The list is long and distinguished. It started with some good old ethnocentrism. Because, English. Clearly when a Swede and a Greek speak, they speak English, right? Shouldn’t citizens of the world want to learn this magical, wonderful language — a language, mind you, that was my native tongue?
So once I let that go, we had the litany of time excuses. Not enough time to learn it. I was focusing on my career or our relationships or my health. Or or or.
Besides, I wasn’t going to spend that much time in the country. His immediate family spoke English — it would be fine.
Except it isn’t. We want to raise bilingual children. Even though I’ve already called dibs on being the parent that will speak to our kids in English, I know that I want to practice what I preach. We want to be a true bilingual family someday.
As dinner was winding down, one of Sergio’s cousins said to me, “Hey, if you learn English, we will learn Spanish.” And people laughed politely. How cute — the blonde learning Spanish! Ha ha ha.
What a mistake, I muttered to myself. I’ll show them. Next year, I’ll be fluent. And we’ll see who has to learn English then.
Last laugh: Mine.
The behavior change I’m focusing on for January is hitting 15 minutes of Spanish language practice each day on DuoLingo, the app I downloaded on Christmas Day. I’m eight days into DuoLingo and I’m in love with it as a methodology. I’ve tried CDs, reading Spanish language books, using Rosetta Stone, practicing words with S — but no progress. That I’m so excited and engaged is a good sign.
And, according to the app, I’m now 2% fluent — do you want to post this update on LinkedIn? it asks me.
Thanks, DuoLingo. Let’s wait a bit.
If you’re unfamiliar with DuoLingo, it’s a wonderful blend of writing, speaking, listening, and word-matching. There are units divided into shorter sections, and upon completion you get Lingots, jewels that you can collect and spend in the store. There are social aspects (friend me! The app cheerily reminds me every day that I have no friends — do I need some? /sob), gaming aspects, and plenty of customization (DuoLingo invites you to strengthen your skills by giving you more practice at the words and phrases you struggle with).
I decided to tackle this first because it is close to my heart. Becoming a part of Sergio’s family is incredibly important to me, and I know that learning his language is the most meaningful step I can take to demonstrate how much I care.
I’ll be checking in at the end of the month to let you know how I’m progressing on Spanish — and, time permitting, perhaps an update mid-month on my progress. I’d stay and write more, but I have six modules in Occupation and seven modules in Time to attend to.
Adios, amigos. Yo estoy muy emocionado!
xo, Sarah
P.S. Want to get more insight into my travels in Mexico? I’m working on a Navidad 2015 post, but you can also read about our travels to Merida and the Yucatan or my musings on traveling in a developing country.