Braving A #MeToo Because I AM Enough

Turning to art and words to explore what is hard to speak aloud.

Over the last week, my heart has squeezed with each #metoo I’ve read. Good friends, acquaintances, and people I know little about, but am connected to in some way had been or were in…pain. A pain introduced into their lives by the choices and actions of another (or many others).

I felt their pain. Deeply. Not their specific pain for no two situations are the exact same, but a pain all too familiar to sit and read with comfort and ease.

I had struggled with that pain.

I still struggled with that pain.

It was a pain that all too often held residence in my heart and mind, building mansions of terror and torment.

But to vocalize and say #metoo?

My whole body shuddered with dread.

Staying silent seemed easier. Staying silent seemed safer.

But safe for whom?

But safe for whom?

But safe for whom?

As the sounds of this question reverberated through my brain, I realized that in staying silent, I was no safer than before, and things were most definitely not easier. My silence was not helping me heal and grow; my silence was not mending what had been shattered; my silence was not connecting me with the good of another.

My silence was not safer for me.

Rather, my silence increased the thickness of the walls I’d built to keep people out. Walls that buried and confined me under a weight of pain that distorted how I saw my worth; a weight of pain that shouted a reflection who held no value; a weight of pain that confirmed I would never be enough.

But.

I do have worth.

I do have value.

I am enough.

And so I explored through art and word what was (still is) incredibly difficult to speak aloud and paused for a moment to reaffirm within myself, to look past the distorting ripples my #metoo’s have made within the mirror I look at and see myself to (re)recognize that:

YES, I have worth.

YES, I have value.

YES, I am enough.

In the hopes that someday (soon), the weight of pain my own #metoo’s have brought will lift and I can believe those three-word sentences with 100% of my being.

So here I am, braving a #metoo because I AM enough. #HowIWillChange

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