The Music In Me

As soon as I could talk, I started singing. My mom tells me I would sing my ABC’s in the backseat of the car like an opera singer with vibrato. Many things have changed over the years but I have always had a love for music.

My mom entered me in singing competitions and signed me up for auditions frequently. I was a busy and successful kid. I had a love for musical theatre as well. I had vocal teachers, musical theatre classes, musicals, and rehearsal all the time.

I could go on and on about the choirs, thespian societies and performances I have been a part of but I won’t. In the last few years things have changed. My first year in my high school I was too afraid to be a part of the musical theater department or the musical so I just did the talent show.

That year I got third place, which was something I wasn’t used to. That’s when I got a taste of a little thing called favoritism. My theatre teachers daughter happened to be in the musical theater department and she also happened to get the lead in every single play since freshman year. I didn’t realize till my junior year that I was being under appreciated along with several other people in the department.

As time went on I became disinterested in musical theatre and singing. It seemed as if it was something I did because I felt I had to not because I wanted to. My family has always said, “Do what you love”. That has been a constant reminder to me that I’m not going to do it for everyone else, I am going to do it for me.

Over time I feel our generation has lost appreciation of the evolution of music. There is a reason music is the way it is today. There wasn’t always iTunes and spotify to stream music instantly. There were things called records and tapes. I never appreciated these things until recently either.

They just don’t make it like they used to, my mom and dad always say. I wish I grew up in the rock n roll era. Not just the music but the style, cars, clothes, and people’s demeanor were something I could definitely get used to. There we’re all kinds of musical festivals that I would love to go to, but at the top of my list is the Woodstock music festival. Woodstock was a 3 day music festival in White Lake, New York. It was a time of peace and good music which is something that sounds right up my alley.

I am not passionate about the same things anymore. I used to eat, sleep, and breathe theater and singing. Now it just isn’t that important to me anymore. Some days I’ll miss it like crazy and other days I’ll be happy that I stopped. Part of the reason I stopped is because I found something else I was passionate about. Somedays I think about auditioning for something, anything to remind me of what’s it’s like to perform.

I loved hearing the music in my ears when I perform. It felt like I was doing what I was born to do.

Taking it back a couple of years to middle school. I first started playing the piano then. My teachers name was Mrs. Trout, I will never forget her. She was also my chorus teacher. I took chorus and keyboards all three years I went to middle school with the best teacher I have ever had. I was so excited to go to chorus and keyboards every day. I soon lost interest in that as well because when I left middle school there was no chorus class or keyboard class at my high school.

I hope one day I’ll wake up and realize the mistakes I made choosing not to pursue a path in music. Maybe I never will, but until then I will continue to keep up with music and make time for it. I have left a lot behind and I have changed a considerable amount in my life. If the me 5 years ago could see me now I feel like I would be disappointed. However I will always have a love for music and performing.

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