Clicks on Picks.
Sometimes I wonder, why bother? Why tolerate me? But then something just clicks and I feel like maybe I’m just stuck in a phase where still nothing exists, where I’m still stuck in a place I didn’t belong to. Maybe, just maybe I’ll be stuck like this forever or maybe not or, or maybe this is who I am. It can’t be, this was never me, and this isn’t me. I don’t know how the mind works anymore. This mind is not mine to keep. Those thoughts aren’t mine. It hurts like splitting an arrow right to the heart. Tears stream down my face like a waterfall. Something just clicks, I’m doing just fine in public so what is happening? Is it because I’m sitting in a four walled room all by myself? It could be, but every time I seem to be alone, I fear the world. I fear of us being together. I fear of you leaving because you cannot tolerate me and my actions. I fear a connection that should happen between us but it wouldn’t because there’s a slight difference between me and the people you have been with. So why bother? Why should you tolerate with a person like me? Why not take off with someone else and be free? But then something just clicks, I have changed, I’ll be okay, and I’ll be just fine. You make me feel safe and I hope you stay. Take care of my heart.