WrestleMania 33 Review

Neville vs. Austin Aries — Cruiserweight Championship Match

This match kicked off the pre-show and I think it benefited as a result.

Neville and Aries got a solid 15 minutes to put on a show, something they probably wouldn’t have received if they had been on the main car.

This match was good, as to be expected from Neville during his title reign, and when you pair him with Aries there was no way this match was going to be bad.

They each hit a lot of entertaining spots that got the almost already full crowd going.

Aries busting out the 450 splash was nice and the story telling of Aries pushing Neville so far that he had to bring back the Red Arrow was great.

It was a little disappointing to see Aries lose, but I guess having Neville’s reign end on a pre-show might not be the best idea.

Overall, this match was a great way to kickoff WrestleMania.

Rating: ***

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This match was entirely designed so that outlets like ESPN and Bleacher Report would post about Gronk.

I’m not a fan of Mojo Rawley, but him winning makes sense because outside of Braun Strowman, Sami Zayn and The Big Show nobody else had been built up to win this match.

However, having is win only happen because he’s friends with Gronk is dumb.

At its core it wasn’t a good battle royal either.

There were no really exciting elimination spots and the ending was lacklustre.

This was the first speed bump of the night.

Rating: *

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin — Intercontinental Championship Match

People were mad that this match was bumped to the pre-show, but how is anyone surprised when these two couldn’t even get one second of screen time on the go-home Smackdown.

Also, this match was bad.

Maybe they were just upset about not being on the man show, but Corbin and Ambrose put on one hell of a boring match.

Outside of the finish which saw Ambrose reverse the End of Days into Dirty Deeds, everything that happened in this match was so by the numbers.

All it did was reinforce my opinion that Ambrose has the worst in-ring skills of The Shield members.

Rating: *1/2

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon

I was dreading this match.

Somehow they managed to have a decent match together.

This match honestly had no right being as good as it was.

Having said that, I still think it was a complete waste of AJ’s talents.

There were a number of entertaining spots like Shane missing the elbow through the table, AJ having the cost to coast and springboard 450 blocked and Shane missing a Shooting Star Press.

They also had a ref bump so they could get in some more street fight type stuff in.

The annoying thing is that they didn’t just make this a no DQ type match, which would have given this match the chance to go from good to great.

Thankfully, AJ won the match.

Rating: ***1/2

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho — United States Championship Match

I’m not sure Chris Jericho has 4 star matches left in him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still put on solid matches.

This wasn’t a mind blowing amazing match, but it was solid albeit a little forgettable.

There really isn’t too much to say about this match, outside of Owens’ pop up powerbomb being reversed into a Codebreaker and Owens getting a fingertip on the ropes to break a pin.

I thought Owens winning via the apron powerbomb was a little weird though.

Rating: ***1/2

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks — RAW Women’s Championship Match

This match succeeded despite some very sloppy execution, particularly on the eliminations.

Nia Jax was eliminated via a triple powerbomb, Sasha was eliminated after being thrown into an exposed turnbuckle and Bayley won the match via top rope elbow drop.

It was utterly bizarre that not a single elimination occurred after someone hit their finishing move.

Rather than a triple powerbomb it would have been much cooler to see all three women hit their finishers on Nia to really demonstrate how hard she was to eliminate.

However, we did get another corkscrew moonsault from Charlotte, which was awesome as always.

If they fixed the eliminations this match could have been of the same calibre as last year’s match.

Rating: ***

Gallows & Anderson vs. Enzo & Cass vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. The Hardy Boyz — RAW Tag Team Championship Ladder Match

This was the show stealer, and I’m not just saying that because The Hardy Boyz made a shocking return.

The WWE have ladder matches down to a science at this point.

I honestly can’t remember the last time they put on a ladder match that wasn’t at least good.

A lot of the spots in this match felt fresh and innovative, which is tough to do when there have been about a billion ladder matches at this point.

The Hardys winning the match also helps Gallows & Anderson still have credibility, because obviously they were caught off guard by their surprise return.

They were also in the box seat to win the match before Matt Hardy hit a Twist of Fate off the top of a ladder to Karl Anderson.

The Hardys also seemed to be kinda broken but not really?

Hopefully their gimmick is defined in the next couple weeks.

Rating: ****

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

This was the worst match of WrestleMania 33.

This match consisted of Miz & Maryse dominating before being beaten in about 5 seconds.

The fact that John Cena and The Miz had such a disgracefully bad match is insane.

After the match Cena proposed to Nikki in what could only be described as a cringeworthy and contrived moment.

Rating: 1/2

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H — Unsanctioned Match

This match made up for having to sit through the mixed tag abomination.

Was this match revolutionary?

No.

In fact, it was pretty much the same is all the WrestleMania matches Triple H has had since switching to part-time performer.

However there were enough little twists to keep it entertaining, and the focus on Seth’s knee was a fresh addition.

Seth was also brilliant at selling his knee injury and it’s nice to see that the next night on RAW he was still selling it during his match, when most people would have just dropped it.

Not only did we get the blowoff of this Triple/Rollins feud, but we also got to see Stephanie McMahon get her comeuppance.

The finish of the match saw Triple H being superkicked, falling into Stephanie who was n the apron and her falling through a table that had been setup outside the ring.

Seth then hit the pedigree and got the win.

A single pedigree.

Triple H put Seth over big time.

My one gripe about this match is that Seth hit the Phoenix Splash cleanly and Triple H kicked out.

That move seemed to be incredibly protected before this match.

Rating: ***1/2

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton — WWE Championship Match

Holy shit was this match bad.

Not only was this match bad, but it was also everything that makes people embarrassed to say they watch wrestling.

This whole feud has been cringeworthy and it unfortunately carried over into the match.

Apparently the new “powers” Wyatt acquired gave him the ability to project videos of worms onto the canvas.

This was dumb as fuck, made especially dumb by the referee being the only person in this match to react to it.

Wyatt does this a few times, but then Orton hits an “RKO outta nowhere” (and my eyes roll out of my fucking sockets) and wins the match.

This was NyQuil in the form of a wrestling match.

Randy Orton is so god damn boring.

All this match consisted of was him stomping, a powerslam, his backbreaker and the RKO.

Also what was the point of these new Wyatt powers if he was just going to lose?

Nothing about this match was entertaining or made much sense.

Rating: *

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar — Universal Championship Match

Much like Styles/McMahon this match was way better than it had any right to be.

Lesnar kicked off the match by hitting a bunch of German suplexes, before Goldberg hit a spear out of nowhere.

However, this time Lesnar rolled out of the ring, showing he’d learned from their previous match.

He then got speared through the barricade.

The rest of this 5-minute match consisted of suplexes, Brock leapfrogging a spear and an F-5.

It wasn’t a technical masterpiece, but considering the participants this match was basically a 5 star performance.

I’ve been the biggest hater of these two, but this was great for what it was.

Rating: ***

Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Naomi vs. Natalya — Smackdown Women’s Championship Match

Good lord.

I understand that this was a pee break/breather match, but damn this should have been on the pre-show.

Heck, this shouldn’t have been on the show at all.

The build up to this was a garbage mess and who would have thought the match would follow suit?

It pretty much consisted of all the women doing their finishers, then Naomi locking in a submission that nobody even realised was her finisher.

The fact they gave Naomi the win because its her hometown was also dumb for an number of reasons.

For starters, she’s one of the worst both in the ring and on the mic on the Smackdown roster.

Secondly, the majority of people in attendance were from places other than Orlando.

This was evident in the fact that nobody gave a shit when she made her entrance and won.

Maybe one day Smackdown wont have garbage-tier women and tag divisions.

Rating: *

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker

Let’s get this out of the way; yes it fucking sucks that Roman Reigns ended The Undertaker’s career.

But honestly, this meh ending to Taker’s career is partly on him.

He should have retired after the streak died, UNLESS the dream matches between him and Sting or Cena were in the pipeline.

Instead, Undertaker has had extremely underwhelming matches with Bray Wyatt, Shane McMahon and Roman Reigns after WrestleMania 30.

The only way to salvage this is if they FINALLY pull the trigger on a Reigns heel turn.

As for the match itself, it was just passable.

The Undertaker was so broken down, that there really wasn’t much that Roman could do.

This is the guy that carried The Big Show to a 4 star match, so that’s saying something.

There were some cool spots like Taker being speared through the announce table, but they weren’t enough to completely elevate it.

It also bothered me that they basically copied the finish of Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair at WrestleMania 24.

The only problem is that Roman isn’t beloved like Shawn and Taker was taking so much damage that it ended up just looking like a young guy beating the shit out of a broken shell of a man.

It was a sad way for one of the greats to go out.

Rating: **1/2

Overall, this was a good WrestleMania.

Unfortunately, the average rating gets dragged down by some really shitty matches.

The high points were really high and the low points were really low this year.

Much better than most of the show being low points though.

Average Rating: 2.38 stars