Queer Men are more likely to develop eating disorders: Ways we can aid in erasing the stigma

I came out to the world as gay as a late teenager, and I realized a really harsh truth. Though I had come out to the world, some things didn’t change. We often enunciate the importance of “coming out” as an act of direct salvation, and it is in some manners. When I came out to the world, I felt some things had gotten better. My friendships were more understanding and personal. My relationship with some family members became more closer. Some things had gotten better.

My body issues were not one of those things.

I came out to the world as a gay man whose mental health could at best be described as fragile. I was ready to seek the approval of everyone around me for a body I was raised and conditioned to look at with disparity.

I felt in the gay community I would find answers to everything that had controlled me. I would find approval to and acceptance of my body type, I felt that through coming out, I would find the magic wand that waved away my troubles.

This is NOT what I would find.

Don’t find me misunderstood, in the gay community, I found a lot of acceptance. Yet, I also found something else. I found reflections of myself.

In our community, I found people who were damaged like me, they just wanted to seek the validation of their bodies as I had wanted. I found a community who, much like the world around us, had been conditioned into thinking only select body types were prized, sought-after, wanted. I found a community who, much like me, was sick.

I found a community who, much like me, was in denial over the pressures society dictates on your body.

Gay and Bisexual men are 7 times more likely to report binging and 12 times more likely to report purging than heterosexual males. Gay men are thought to only represent 5% of the total male population but among men who have eating disorders, 42% identify as gay.

When research shows Gay and Bisexual youth as early as 12 may be at higher risk of binge-eating and purging than heterosexual peers, we have a problem.

It’s clear to us there’s a problem.

But where do we help? Where can we start?

1: Normalize the act of seeking out treatment for mental health

This is where the title “erasing the stigma” comes into play.

There still remains a stigma that surrounds every demographic regarding seeking out treatment and finding help regarding mental health.

The gay community, to me, has always been one to reject the societal notions of what constitutes the norm and find empowerment through these rejections.

That’s what I believe we must do here.

We must find empowerment through this. find empowerment through seeking out assistance. Find empowerment through talking about mental health. Find empowerment in erasing the stigma regarding mental illness and eating disorders.

2: Prioritize the importance mental healthcare needs in the gay community

In the 1980’s onward, the gay community addressed the damages and the institutionalized discrimination LGBTQ+ people faced regarding the United States’ handling the HIV/AIDS epidemic directly. We championed these issues and made the public aware of their effects.

We do such an incredible job in highlighting health issues, yet we need more divisions in our fight that underline the damages of mental illness and it’s effects on the gay community.

LGB people are more likely than heterosexual people to suffer from depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorders, and other stress-related mental health issues. They are also more likely to suffer from PTSD and substance dependence.

Given this evidence, we should be making “addressing mental healthcare” a priority in the gay community. Therapy and help exist for these reasons, they are here to help. My dysmorphia and eating disorders only came to light after seeking help. This is what they are here for.

Even in 2017, the gay community is on the frontlines of addressing the stigma of HIV/AIDS, we should be doing the same for mental health and addressing mental illness healthcare for LGBTQ+ people.

3: Address the disparity in body types in LGBTQ+ media

No matter what demographic you step into, the standard of beauty that is advertised is often the one that is desired the most.

We champion the “white adonis” as the epitome of beauty and attractiveness in our media. How come we do this? We, as a community, have such a diverse culture of different bodies. Why choose to limit our perception to such a hindered viewpoint?

This, as we as a community disproportionately suffer more under eating disorders is not only lazy marketing, it’s downright dangerous.

Instead of treating only one body type as the quintessence of beauty, why do we not put the lens on body types that aren’t perfect? Why do we not diversify our perception of beauty to include those of different ethinicities?

Reaffirming the beauty in those that might not view themselves as beautiful is a terrific, ridiculously easy step we can take as a community. We’re doing, so far, a terrible job in taking it.

4: Battling Internalized Homophobia and “Feminizing” mental illnesses

Men, both straight and gay, have difficult time addressing their own mental illnesses or eating disorders.

Mental illnesses still lie under an incredibly thick veil of false association. Men with mental illnesses are immediately categorized as feminine, thus many men reject the notions that mental illnesses are real and decline to seek help to maintain their own falsified ideals of masculinity.

Male fixation as to what constitutes men forces gay men into societal-pressure that dictates how men should behave, and stigmatizing eating disorders as “feminine”, in which case “any effeminate behavior” is perceived as weak.

5: LOVE ONE ANOTHER

Probably the easiest step we can take.

As a community battling the horrors that eating disorders bring, the easiest but most effective, idea we can do is to just be more inclusive of other body types, builds, and ethnicities and color.

We can tackle every other step listed. Until we listen to each other, however, and start loving one another and not put lenses that highlight our insecurities, until we see the day where we do not judge others for their appearances, and we celebrate differences.

We will not see true change in our perceptions.

Stop critiquing. Start loving one another. It’s a whole lot easier and will go a long way.

xoxo Luke ❤