Condemned from the Beginning

From the beginning, I knew that I had no chance. After my first practice on a summer-league swim team, I sat down and proceeded to regurgitate my lunch. I knew that the season was going to be rough, but I was determined to finish. By the end of the summer, I had significantly progressed to the honorable position of second-to-last-place. Invigorated by my improvement, I decided to try out for my high school’s swim team the following season.

Most of the other athletes had been swimming from the time that they were able to walk, so, as I had first competitively swam that previous summer, I knew that my chances were slim. However, I had already declared my goal: to try out for the high school swim team. The first few practices were on steady ground, and my performance excelled most of the veteran swimmers. With my confidence boosted, I eagerly awaited the first practice in the pool. When the time came, my anticipation was met with pain and agony. That night, I rested my battered muscles and weary soul. The rest of the week I experienced the same fate; although it hurt, my improvement was exponential.

On the day of the try out, I felt mentally and physically prepared, for I had significantly improved over the three months of training. I had shown great dedication, and even practiced on my own in order to ensure that I was up to par with the other swimmers. When they called my race, I stepped on to the blocks. The past three months of my life had been focused towards that one moment. The buzzer rang, and we all dived into the pool. Immediately I knew that I had gone in over my head. After approximately thirty seconds of swimming, my body presented me with an ultimatum: stop swimming or drown.

I did not finish the race. I got out of the pool in shame while the others were effortlessly flowing through the water. I stayed until the end of the try outs, even though I already knew my fate. In Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird, Scout notices that when a jury conjures a guilty verdict, they avoid eye-contact with the person they have just condemned. As the swimming coaches walked by, they joked with my friend to the right of me, and then continued on their journey. They made no acknowledgement of my presence. However, as I left the pool, I could not help but smile.

My failure to even complete the race was humiliating, but my shame only lasted for a couple of hours. The effects that this journey has had on my life have lasted even through today. When I reflected on this experience, I was, in the end, pleased with myself. Because of my dedication, I was able to forge and strengthen bonds with people who, otherwise, I would have never encountered. In addition, this single choice to remain dedicated despite obvious failure has helped to develop and fortify the sense of dedication that I have today. When I was younger, I despised failure. I would cry after every baseball game I lost, and I never did anything if I was not completely sure of my success. Because of this, I missed out on many opportunities that I now wished I could have experienced. After my swimming experience, I understood the importance of not letting the fear of failure keep me from trying new things. Although this experience ended in failure, I still choose to apply these same principles to everything I do in life, and I know that it will lead me to success.