As a loner in a Girls Hostel, India.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to write since the day I entered my second year of Bachelors in Computer Applications (B.C.A). On my first year in the hostel I have enjoyed quite any pleasure a girl would have enjoyed in a hostel. I was in a group of great personalities of the hostel, kind, beautiful, cool, swaggering (I have no idea what is the adjective form of swag), cute and helpful. I had friends, they celebrated my birthday, had loads of fun with me, slept in my room with mattresses on the floor, yes! It was a lot of fun but all those had one serious issue, they were all in their last year of graduation or it was their last year in the hostel. And the day came when they all bade farewell to me and I became the loner I never wanted to be.

You have read many times about the kinds of friend that is usually forgotten in a group, whose presence and opinions never mattered. In my first year, even though I had a vibe like that, I was accepted. But this year, things changed.

I took a room in which I stayed alone and to kill the loneliness, I started talking longer hours on phone with my boyfriend, he’s happy about it. But sometimes when he just couldn’t manage the time, I started to feel the loneliness grappling me.

You know how girls form groups and spit hate on the loner? I became the loner I usually had related and sympathized with. Soon, rumours of me being grumpy, aggressive, rude, and noisy were heard. Anyone I’ve ever told this to usually says, “Don’t listen to them, they’re just not sure what makes you stay lonely”. My neighbouring roomies started complaining about the loud voices and leaking tap noises coming out of my room (which were never proven true) and nobody ever approached me directly. Everyone started treating me like I’ve got some communicable disease. I was shunned, boycotted stared and the girls complained about everything I did, even holding plates in the wrong way or sometimes drinking water from the glass above the filter and not in my bottle. I was judged in every hidden way possible. Even when someone’s money got lost, they named me as a primary suspect (from which I proudly came out innocent, the bitch just misplaced it somewhere and she found it out after 5 days, but never apologized to me). This is my third year, and I’ve had enough of this bullshit and the silent bullying. If you’ve never spewed your insults directly to me, ‘I’m still offended.’ If you have silently contributed to my loneliness, you’re a bitch and I curse you eternal loneliness because you ruined someone’s hostel life.