List of complaints my mother has with my boyfriend:

  1. My mother loves him but she is not sure whether I love him enough to compare his devotion (literally) for me. “Why does he listen to your shit talk? You do not possess the right to be angry at him.”
  2. Mom once complained about him pampering me too much and fattening me with junk food. “You’re smothering her with your love and she’s getting spoiled. It is gonna affect her marks.”
  3. Mom is assured of his love, he and I know that very well but she is unsure of his parents. She isn’t sure his parents could accept their good looking son to have a fat, unattractive wife. “You know his parents are never gonna accept you. Do not get too attached to him. Once his parents know about you, it’s game over.”
  4. Mom knows he will marry me, he gave her his own word. But, she wants 'the ring’. A jewellery maybe of commitment, I have no idea and I couldn’t understand her statement when she said, “Is he scared to tell his parents? Why isn’t there any engagement ceremony when you’re planning to marry next year? Or some shagun so that it is assured that he is gonna marry you anyhow.
  5. Mom likes him even though he’s a little clumsy, underpaid maybe but this thing seems to bother her more; “How did he become so obsessed with you? Are you two having sex?”
  6. Things got a little awkward when we had a fight and he was constantly calling for apologies and I was being a jerk. This was what she said, “When he will leave you, you will not even be answerable to the public who saw you two holding hands. Don’t be mean.”
  7. Mom doesn’t like him bugging me while I’m out of the hostel and with her so she once said, “Block him if you like, constant bugging is hated everywhere.”
  8. If you like him so much, go away with him. The most objected thing. Because we talk on the phone all the time.
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