Not much in the way of news today. The Super Bowl is over. I just had lunch. Dolly Parton turns seventy. Hurray.

Oh, and the New Hampshire primary is today. For some, particularly those interested in boring theater, this event, this primary, is a big thing. Pundits and news anchors will watch the precinct returns on C-Span. For me, this primary means as much to me as the actual state of New Hampshire means to me — which is nothing.

I live in Louisville, Kentucky, where we drink bourbon and race horses. We marry young and die fat. Our winters are mild and our syrup is corn-based. If I had to, I could name the capital of New Hampshire, but why would I? It’s in New Hampshire, a place I’ve been to once (and it wasn’t because my plane crashed there.)

I do know that Donald Trump is there. Hillary Clinton and Larry David are there as well. I hope it delivers to them all that they want — four glorious electoral votes in the general election. For those keeping track, that’s one more electoral vote than wonderful Wyoming and one less than wild West Virginia.

I know, you know, we all know that that’s not what’s important, yet. This election is a primary one! It’s a weeding out, a step in the process of figuring who’ll we’ll blame as a nation for our own personal failures. “Thanks, Obama, I”m bald.”

And, it’s still happening. The dutiful residents of Laconia and Bradford, New Hampshire have ceased churning their easterly butter and braved the laughably bad winter to vote. High school teachers and cable network executives think it’s important to do so. Even I’m supposed to believe that, as an American, a Kentuckian, and a media consumer.

Yet, I don’t think this primary matters much to the states that do in the presidential election. California has three times as many people in prison as New Hampshire does in its capital city. Texas, home to a slew of primary presidential candidates, hosted 35,000 teen births in 2014. That’s a population larger than every city in New Hampshire, save the three largest.

Let those hardy Nor’Easterners exercise their rights. It won’t and shouldn’t make a bit of difference to me or most Americans. The only Concord that matters is the flavor of grape jelly spread on my toast .