Dear Diary,

20/09/16 6:42 Am

It just occurred to me that having my beard unevenly shaved off was only a dream.

Des that sound weird? That I only just realized. It’s like that sometimes. Well a lot of the time actually. My dreams usually seem to become false memories, which I only realize after receiving contradictory information from reality. Is it like that for you too?

This is probably not worth a discussion. I’ve learnt to assume that every experience I have is probably the norm for most humans. What is worth a discussion though is this dear diary thing. Really? Your name is diary? I’m sure you can do better than that. What should I call you? I’d pick for you but we’ve already discussed how terrible I am with name.

I’m itching for a list so here we go. What’s new since the last time I wrote you.

  1. I slept on the couch last night
  2. The dog (Bruno to some) is finally putting its third leg on the ground. It’s not fully healed but we’re getting there I imagine
  3. It’s started scratching at stuff
  4. Last night it was in love with a basket

Speaking of the dog (and still Bruno to some), it’s started trying to bite me which I don’t get. I know it’s not like hate or violent or anything but it scares the shit out of me. Why does it seem to think we’ll both enjoy the experience? This also happens a lot when I run its belly.

I suppose it’d be cute if we were that kinda couple you know. I leave body parts in your mouth and trust you not to bite me but this whole rabies thing freaks me out. And it’s still not gotten its shots yet. The vet says it needs to heal and not be sick anymore or something.

I have heard that it’s show they play though, this faux biting. I’ll have to look into not freaking out every time it opens its mouth.

I’ve also been trying to record it barking but you know the same way you keep missing your baby’s first steps or firsts words. Like you witness them but you fail to immortalize them. Dogs and human babies are really similar in some ways

For example Bruno-to-some can shit anywhere. It’s ridiculous. And it stinks. I haven’t picked up after a human child and I’m picking up after a dog. Weird or no?

It turns out I don’t have much of a life beyond this puppy. Seeing as I seem to have nothing else to talk about. Well the puppy and impending French lessons.

Ah well


Is this the proper way to sign out now?

P.S- I might call you Amanda. Or Samantha. Or Jephethiah or something.

I don’t know. I’m not good with names