What’s happening a Venezuela, my own resistance.

I will give you a little bit of a context, I’m a Venezuelan girl, born, raised and living in Venezuela, an engineer student, who happens to love writing, also a spanish speaker, I have set myself the goal of writing everyday during a month in English, I wanna improve and be a better writer in this language, so I look in the web for methods and advices, and came up with a combination of a daily writing and daily reads, also I did lists of my interests, likes and dislikes, following the article of Shaunta Rimes, and found a really wide topics to write, I’m doing a bullet journal and reading a lot.

After a whole week writing, I started to think that maybe I wasn’t being personal on my posts but to maybe self center, kind of narcissistic. I decided to write a review of a tv show from HBO, so I wouldn’t get caught up in a perpetual loop of my problems. I wrote the post but it was not only hard but also an implacental thing to do, I will tell you why.

As I said at the beginning, I’m currently living in Venezuela, I always have, I have 26 years old, this year, I will turn 27, and during 18 years of my life I only knew one type of government, the socialist one, the one initiated by Hugo Chávez in the year of 1999.

This government reached the power with the offer of better lives to the poor, waving a flag of new vindications for the lower working classes of our society but right now you can conclude it was really a flag of revenge against every person who have different opinions and purposes to them.

Now, after 18 years, running the year of 2017, Venezuela is immerse in chaos, misery and poverty, with the same people still in the power, refusing to recognize and accept their faults. This people are been accumulating properties and money at the expenses of the petroleum of Venezuela, leaving our citizens without the most minimum civil rights, tearing down all the institutions, underestimating our needs, our votes against them with the power that biased institutions gave them and diminishing the complaints we have, for more indignation they keep telling lies to all of us, making up lazy excuses, and fighting with imaginary enemies, and never have ever won one of those supposedly existing wars of them.

Since april 4th have being marches all over this country demanding for answers, once again (I say once again because this is not the first time, you can look up for the protests of 2001, 2002, 2007, 2013, 2014), is us against them, against the power, against the attacks of justice, against the efforts of making us everyday more hunger, more uneducated and more dependent of them, so they can control us, and loot our treasures in more calm, of course with one protective image of a leftish progressive government.

This marches are full with young people, students like me, like my friends, like my boyfriend, like my neighbors, all kind of young ones, working ones, brothers, sisters, daughters, fathers and mothers (we have the most high rate of young pregnancy in the continent) insisting in be heard, after 18 years of indifference. We have right now a really serious crisis public health crisis, we have no medicines, you can see people on the social media begging for simple things such as aspirin, diabetics looking everywhere their insulin, people with cancer asking for help to anybody inside or outside the country because of the inefficiency of this government; also we have problems with food, they ruined the national production with their corruption with his thirst of money, abandoned the agriculture and denied their lack of knowledge about how the work in the countries should be, in result we have anything really belonging to us after all these years, and we have to import most of all our food, without nothing to export besides oil (spoiler alert: the oil business is plagued with corruption and fights of power, so is going down.); the security of the individuals is not granted, there’s a lot of gangs everywhere happily acting under the shadow of impunity, wait, not under the shadow, we are reaching to the point where gangs don’t hide anymore and act in the light without any consequences.

With all this problems is absolutely understandable the concern and the right of us to be mad at authorities, at all their lies and shows that had being putting on in order to keep robbing and be forever in the power.

But they don’t want to leave their luxurious villages and fabulous lives, because is so great live spending the money of others, and portraying their selves to the international opinion as heroes and defenders of the minorities. They must maintain their securities no matter what or how; therefore they are using the money and the force of violence to attack us, us, the victims! The state is attacking the protesters every single day when they decide to raise their voices, they keep attacking innocent people with war weapons, weapons such as gas bombs, pepper spray, even tanks and bombs are thrown from helicopters, they call us terrorists, criminals, when they are the real criminals, they keep reminding me one song of the Dominican writer and singer Rita Indiana that says:

“the one who takes away from the poor is the worst coward”.

They are using all kind of war resources against the protests, even tortures when they took away innocent young protesters, during 18 years the state have been arming civilians and calling them “collectives” with the objective of using them against anyone who have the desire of complain against their atrocities, that is called “collusion” btw and is a felony, a felony committed for the state, about that I will the quote the Venezuelan professor Daniel Esparza:
 “This is not a civilian war; this is a war against the civilians”

In almost one month, the Bolivarian National Army Guard (GNB) and the national police (PNB) has killed 32 Venezuelans, yesterday they killed a boy of 18 years old, a musician, a son, a friend, a Venezuelan, but for surprise while they are abusing of their force in the marches they allow raids in the interior of the country, in Valencia the civil guard did nothing to stop people from robbing supermarkets, bakeries and small vending places during three whole days, and today at may 4th 8:43 Pm there’s still violent people tearing down supermarkets and food business, and you may ask yourself why the authorities are not doing anything, well because if there are less private markets they can keep their hand on us, until we only have to depend on them.

While I write this, the most close bakery to my house have a long line of people waiting for bread, because the wheat flour is regulated, and there’s not enough for everybody and there’s not enough money to import it (because the money is going directly to the pockets of the president and their friends).

While I write this, my friends living in Valencia are going to reunions with their neighbors trying to come up with ideas for defending their houses and properties. While I write this, two young males have been shot in the head by the GNB in San Diego, Valencia, meanwhile the famous director of orchestra Gustavo Dudamel is talking to the world about the excesses of violence of the DICTATORSHIP of Nicolás Maduro.

So as you can see there’s no pause in the Venezuela subject for me right now, there’s not much place for anything else, and sometimes I feel so hopeless and sad because of this situation because the discourse of hate the authorities is giving to us, instead of finally give up on their mistakes. I can’t find the right words to describe how awful is go out and see childs and entire families scratching into the garbage looking for some food.

Also we have to fight with our own hunger problems, I lost 22 pounds since 2013 because proteins are way too expensive, and we can’t find or buy milk, chicken, eggs, vegetables, fruits; the last year I spent time looking for the mangoes on the floor because I was really really hungry, I wasn’t the only one, it was plenty of people doing the same nearly to mangoes trees.

Is a terrible punch to the spirit, and to the will, also when I found myself unemployed, with such little opportunities of jobs, with such of despair in my heart I see how my youth has being under this terrible regimen, how many things I lost, how many friends I miss because they are now expats in other countries. Is very common find myself trapped in questions like: what kind of salary I will able to make? What kind of life I can have? Am I going to eat with that? Am I going to at least live? The answer is not, the inflation is eating up the salaries, there’s indeed a path of death and deception coming up to us if this dictatorship remains in the power.

So not, I can’t focus in other thing that this awful reality that I’m living, I can’t quit to complain, I want them to leave, I want them gone, and also I know now that sometimes all I have is this love for words and writing. No, I can’t write right now about anything else, I have no possessions more than this sort of resistance speech, far away from the cells and the censorship of the state, no, I know I will not stop; they’re not going to win.

Me gustan muchas cosas. Ver todas las entradas de celesticaaa

Originally published at ensayoyerror2017.wordpress.com on May 5, 2017.