The Sixth Element: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Sean Mott
Sean Mott
Jul 27, 2017 · 3 min read

The moment Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (directed by Luc Besson) came out, it seemed to destined to be re-evaluated as an unsung classic.

It has all the trappings of a genre favourite that builds a following through late-night re-runs on the Space channel. Dense mythology? Check. Complicated plot? Check. Cutting edge special effects that straddle the line between gorgeous and hideous, often in the same scene? Oh, you’d better believe that’s a big check.

Much like The Fifth Element (also directed by Besson), Valerian is custom-built for a cult following. It’s overflowing with so many ideas and images that it begs to be re-watched, preferable at a convention. In ten years, I imagine critics and audience will be quite kind to Valerian.

Unfortunately, I’m living in the here and now. I haven’t seen Valerian five times. I haven’t poured over every frame and detail. It’s not a cult classic to me yet; it’s just another summer movie. And on that metric it’s…fine.

Valerian is a conflicted movie. It’s a big-budget film made by a director known for his idiosyncratic, off-putting, decidedly un-mainstream style. It’s a wacky sci-fi romp with an overly complicated, serious plot. It’s a massive space opera that focuses on a strangely small cast. It’s an explosion-fest that pivots on themes of globalization, xenophobia, and imperialism. It’s a film with a lot of balls in the air, is what I’m trying to say.

All this conflict tears Valerian in two. On one side is a stunning, entertaining space flick on par with Guardians of the Galaxy. On the other side is a turgid, bloated mess that teeters near Battlefield Earth territory. The film never reconciles this divide, making for a frustrating experience.

Valerian’s biggest sin is its excessive plot. Major Valerian (a miscast Dane DeHaan) and Sergeant Laureline (a vacant Cara Delevinge) are a pair of government agents. They collect a McGuffin from a virtual black market (in the film’s earliest, best scene) and bring it to Alpha, a massive space station that houses species from across the galaxy. Commander Arun Filitt (Clive Owen) informs them there’s a radioactive core deep in Alpha that could destroy the entire station. Valerian and Laureline set out to fix it, only to discover there’s a lot more to the problem that they thought. Oh, and there’s a tacked-on romance that feels as abrupt and poorly thought-out as this sentence.

It’s a straightforward plot, but Valerian constantly derails it. There are endless subplots and narrative cul-de-sacs. Laureline and Valerian meet characters who add nothing to the plot, threats that immediately resolve themselves, and vistas that only serve to dazzle. It makes no sense for a movie with a ticking-clock narrative to leisurely stroll through its world.

Thankfully, a lot of these detours are enjoyable. An encounter with an amorphous blob (played by Rihanna), is appropriately cute and the film’s opening scene (the destruction of an entire planet) is breathtaking, if a little chaotic. The CGI truly is next level, building believable cities and creatures out of 1’s and 0’s. The set designers and animators deserve major props for their outstanding work. You’re guaranteed to see at least one thing that wow’s you. It’s a beautiful film (for the most part).

These diversions are good, but because they get in the way of the overarching plot, they’re also annoying. You want the film to move closer to the climax, but its busy with alien strippers and cannibalistic fishermen. You wish the film would either streamline itself or simply become the laid-back walking tour of Alpha it clearly wants to be. It plays like a big-budget cross between The Trip and Avatar, and, unfortunately, those are two tastes that don’t mix well.

But maybe this combination will be hailed as visionary in ten years. Maybe it’ll be a generational touchstone. Maybe it’ll be lauded as an original, bold vision. Maybe, maybe, maybe. A lot can happen in a decade. In ten years, when there’s a midnight screening of Valerian, I know I’ll be there, just to see if I was wrong.

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