The Egg on the Bus
A true tale from my morning commute
This morning,when I boarded my typically standing-room-only bus I noticed that my favorite seat (the one with the most legroom) was completely empty. When I sat down however, I saw that there was a white egg just sitting there. It was unbroken and unblemished. It was just sitting there riding the bus. It seemed strange. I didn’t want to pick it up and I didn’t want it to fall and break so I took the aisle seat while the egg took the window. As we pulled away, I nervously hoped that no one would come and try to sit next to us.
Things were looking pretty good. We passed all the stops where people usually get on and no one seemed to be boarding the bus. We were flying by, the egg and I. We were nearly to my stop when a lone woman boards the bus and heads towards me. She smiled good naturedly at me and I did my best to scowl, grimace and look foreboding so she would not try to sit down. Alas!
“Can I sit next to you?” she asked.
A long pause ensued during which a multitude of scenarios played out in my head. I then looked her squarely in the eyes, tried not to betray the panic I was feeling and pointed towards the seat.
“There’s an egg” I said simply, as if this was explanation enough for the woman to move on down the line.
Undeterred, the woman started sliding in. I quickly scooped up the egg and slid to the window.
“Is that your egg?” she asked coyly.
“No, it was sitting here when I got on” I responded.
“Was a chicken sitting here before you? she asked in all seriousness.
As the bus pulled up to my stop I got up, holding the egg like a bomb.
“Enjoy your lunch” she snickered, waving as the bus doors closed.
As I walked towards my building I wondered, who would leave an egg on a bus? No one just accidentally drops an egg, leaving it unbroken on a bus seat to ride around the city. This was malicious, a premeditated attempt to prey on the hearts and minds of innocent bus users. Well, to whoever you are, I say “Mission accomplished.”
