People Tend to Believe “No” Means “No”
Here’s what “no” actually means.
“No” means, I don’t want exactly that or I can’t do that on those terms or I can’t figure out a way to make that happen.
It means, I have to satisfy someone else’s needs or there are hidden constraints on my ability to say “yes.”
It means I am serving an interest [quarterly sales goals for instance] that I’m afraid to tell you about; or I don’t have the authority to say yes.
“No” means if you knew my true circumstances, I’d lose my bargaining advantage or I’m out of good ideas or have a problem I don’t know how to solve.
“No” is Your First Opportunity to Problem Solve
Most people tend to think of negotiations as a series of offers and counter-offers without any conversation. This is the type of bargaining people do in a bazaar.
But you are not haggling. You are operating in a commercial or professional setting, attempting to get the price, salary or benefits you want.
You are negotiating. You are having a conversation leading to agreement. Two entirely different things.
“No” Lets the Parties Make the Concessions Necessary to Make Everyone Happy
In any negotiation, the process is as or more important than the outcome.
The researchers tell us that people’s satisfaction with the outcome of a negotiation is primarily based on the number of concessions their bargaining partner makes during any bargaining encounter.
If they walk in wanting a 10% raise, are offered 3%, counter at 20%, are offered 5% and the negotiation closes at 7%, they’ll be happier than they would have been if their 10% opening offer had been immediately accepted.
Because immediate acceptance usually means they could have done better if they’d started higher.
A series of concessions allows us to feel that we’ve gotten the best outcome available even if it’s less than we originally wanted.
And we’re more concerned with fairness than we are in the absolute number reached by the end of the day.
“No” Lets You Solve Your Counterpart’s Problems, Kicking in the Power of Reciprocity.
If you’re negotiating, both parties have already established that they want what the other party has to offer.
The best resolution for both parties is making a deal. If you use the word “no” as an opportunity to help your bargaining partner close the deal, he/she owes you one.
Once he/she owes you, you benefit from the principle of reciprocity.
Even if you’re a novice negotiator, knowing that the word “no” actually means yes, but under circumstances different from this persistence alone will likely enable you to close the deal
Remember that you’re practicing. You do not have to look like you know what you’re doing. You only have to look like you’re trying.
Here are some easy responses to the word “no” that you should always have at the ready.
Why is that solution or price or proposal too rich for you or your company?
What stands in the way of your saying “yes” to this proposal?
Is there anything else I can put on the table that would give you the value you need to close this deal?
Is there any additional information you need from me that would help you sell this proposal to your company?
These are “diagnostic questions” meant to reveal your bargaining partner’s need for additional information, their hidden constraints, the unidentified stakeholders who they’re required to satisfy or the concealed interests they’re trying to serve.
The questions are “diagnostic” because you’re making an effort to diagnose the problem standing in the way of a deal.
In controlled experiments, negotiation researchers found that only 7% of all negotiators ask diagnostic questions when to do so would significantly improve the outcome of their negotiation.
Every time someone says no, there is always a chance to close a deal.
Remember these principles and you’ll be able to turn nearly every “no” into a “yes” of greater benefit to you than you can now even imagine.
Have you closed deals lately?
