I thought I was strong and logical enough for this. But I feel like any other normal girls right now.

I thought I can think rationally and make the best decisions. I thought I can consider break up a mature option if things don’t work out. That’s what I’ve been advising others as though it’s the most natural thing to do.

But right now, the fear is insane. I’ve never felt this much fear of losing anyone. My heart’s heavy. My chest’s tight. My breathing erratic. My eyes watering. One would think I’m having serious anxiety panic attacks. But I’m just overwhelmed with paranoia and fear of the uncertain.

Preparing for the worst. How weak, Jas… I thought I was better than this. Guess not…

Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognise anywhere.

(I love you, don’t leave)

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