The amount of negativity that can hit in my brain as soon as I wake Up in the morning can sometimes feel like I´m carrying the world on my shoulders.. and I´m not the only one that goes through this..from Economical problems, to People trying to spread negativity around you that no matter how strong you are mentally it will end up bothering you, bringing you down, From worries at work to me not being satisfied with my physical appearance..there are a million bullets that can hit you and bring you down mentally

I read in other articles how to deal with these situations and 90% of them tell me that the best way to tackle this problem is to rise up, go for a walk , Exercise etc etc so you can clear your mind…

You know, sometimes that works..but others it just doesn't, the “ bullets” are still inside you. Sometimes your brain and body completely shuts down and it makes you want to curl up in bed and stay there for the rest of the day hoping that you can close your eyes and sleep..so the problems can flush away, but you end up thinking..and thinking..and thinking about these “Bullets”..

Guess what? Thats just natural.

Why should I go out for a walk to clear my mind? Why can´t I turn the lights off, and go into complete darkness in my room, lay down and just close my mind.. let me think negatively about myself..let me think of how much of an Idiot I am, let me think of how those “bullets” got Into me, even tho it is imaginary and perhaps idiotic, let me concentrate in the PAIN…..thats natural. I dont want a cure.

Because in my case, I love the darkness in my room during the day while I´m feeling horrible…seems so unusual these days right? Go outside, brightness.. yay! Exercise! Smile! Say Hello to everyone! Read this Markus, it will Motivate you..blah…blah..

I just want to be in complete darkness…

just me… and my thoughts…

Because through darkness..it may take a while..but It can lead me to the light, it leads me to look at my problems from the “dark” point of view.. it makes me think of how to tackle with those day to day problems in a completely different way…in a Deep way..

Today I had one of those days, I stayed in bed..and only got out…at night…I´m here at the terrace in my apartment, feeling the breeze..and enjoying the NIGHT….the darkness..the moon…everything involved with it…

….and writing this. I can guarantee you that if I followed any of those articles that friend gave me, go for a walk etc etc etc… I´d feel better sooner…but I wouldnt be here sharing my thoughts to you.

Peace and Darkness,

Markus.