The problem with ANY crime is that there isn’t any “right” way for victims to behave. The victim blaming comes from people starting with (even before the crime) asking what could they have done to prevent this act, and it evolves into “if they didn’t do that then they must have wanted it”. If I leave my wallet out in the open, is it my fault if someone steals it? Well, some would say yes. Yet to my mind it’s still thievery if someone takes something that doesn’t belong to them. I might have prevented the theft, or I might not have, it’s not the point, the guy is still a thief. A rapist is similar except what he’s stealing is far more harmful. I can replace the money in my wallet. Fixing the damage caused by rape is far more difficult, even if you don’t have the victim blaming going on and that’s far more likely in the case of rape. Shoot, as you’ve pointed out, you were blaming yourself too! How do you fight that? I know I have no idea, any more than how to stop people from raping others. The only solutions I can come up with are “after the fact” and won’t do anything to stop the victim blaming mentality. Simplifying it for them (as with my wallet analogy) can help, but if they don’t want to believe, they’ll ignore that too.