my autumn cosmic

the narrative goes something like this. my brain raced.

august 2015, it was nearly almost complete you see, the grand puzzle. and my mind reached out to complete it. feverishly picking up loose ends whilst dropping others in a attempt to tie a cosmic knot in my understanding of what though

And in this hypo-manic state i went to seek guidance from the plants. reckless. with a head full of robert anton wilson and a desire to learn something, anything about the interface between myself and the universe.

my trip is the next trip you see. and in drinking with a hasty intention, i was met with an appropriate answer. how will i ever balance?? i asked. it did not occur to me that the balancing act was weighted with poisons. juggling toxic beliefs like batons.

the night wore on. this is not some playground for mind games. the serpent told me. much more ancient. an exchange of information, no humans here, not a soul. the image of my body writhed, swimming in a sea of non-symbols. the universe folding and unfolding over and over and over fractal flowers. i’d swum in a few pools before i thought, now sinking into the ocean.

racing summer was followed by desperate autumn was followed by darkest winter long overshadowing wet spring.

a new scale birthed from the forge of seasonal alchemy i pray that i not load it with lead this time.