Replying to this but speaking to Siobhan O’leary upthread: I’m actually on his side here, sort of. I was about to say something similar to what you’ve been — something like “You have the right to not date anyone for any reason; it’s giving speeches about your prejudices that makes you sound like an asshole.”
Then I remembered how vocal I am about not dating cis people these days. It’s not out of the question that I might someday, but they’d have a hard uphill climb to prove that they’re worth my time. Especially cis men. (*shudder*) That so many of them have attitudes like this is only part of the reason. So if I’ve got my biases against guys like him, should I really be telling him to shut up about his biases? …Or should I be thanking him?
It ought to be okay and encouraged for majority people to put their short-sightedness and limitations out in front. He’s doing a big time-saving favor to any trans woman who might otherwise accidentally date him, and only found out later that he’s not going to give her the respect and fine treatment she deserves. We can do a lot better. And the more small-minded cis people open their mouths and take themselves out of our dating pool, the easier it gets for us — and the more fun we’ll have with those who understand and appreciate why trans people are consistently so damn sexy.
