Want to be my ally? I’m calling it in.
Hear me please. If you are a true trans ally, I ask you to do one thing. It’s important and urgent and we need your help.
The public discussion about transgender people in bathrooms and schools has gone off the rails. The lies are winning. Most cisgender people don’t know the core truth, the simplest fact, and it’s putting women and men and children in danger. You might know it yourself, but the word’s not getting out fast enough.
The core truth is this: it’s all made up. This fear of predators claiming to be trans to infiltrate women’s spaces is total fiction. It’s not an exaggeration, it’s not a complex issue, it’s not how you interpret the statistics. There are no statistics. It never happened. There are no known incidents of the threat that these bills are claiming to prevent.
I thought more people knew this. I thought that at least most liberals and moderates recognized the lie. I thought I’d see it called out on TV and in the press. I was wrong. The liars are framing the debate, and the pundits are letting them. They’re arguing about fairness and balancing protections and separate facilities and so on, playing the game by the aggressors’ rules, and never calling the bluff at the bottom of it all. No one is shouting “WHAT threat?” No one is forcing them to prove that there’s anything to protect from. Trans people are trying, but there aren’t enough of us and we aren’t reaching everyone.
The longer a lie goes unchallenged, the harder it is to uproot. We’ve been calling out so many lies from those in power recently, for so many good reasons. All I ask of you, all I beg, is to make this one of them. To stand against this lie and to make the truth louder.
I don’t care what words you use. Take mine if you want them. My simplest form goes like this: “It’s all made up. The whole issue is fake. There’s never been any report anywhere of a trans woman, or anyone ‘pretending’ to be one, ever assaulting or harassing anyone in a women’s room. It’s a fictional crime.”
Anything else? Optional. I don’t ask that you stay in the debate. Convincing gender skeptics that trans people need and deserve protection, that we are the victims of assault, rape and murder far out of proportion, and that these laws force us into unsafe spaces where we fear for our lives… That’s hard and frustrating and I won’t oblige you to it. Getting them to understand that gender isn’t always about plumbing, that some of us are wired differently and that’s okay— well. If you want to try, please do. But I can’t expect you to take on something I rarely succeed at myself.
Oppose the lie. That much is possible. Let people know that it’s not ambiguous. And if you can, encourage them to oppose it too. Do that, and you will have my deep respect and gratitude. You will have made my world safer, and the worlds of many people I love.
Thank you for listening.