Where does your self-confidence come from: is it intrinsic or extrinsic?
Poornima Vijayashanker
461

Hello!
Self-confidence is something we have as a “base level”. And it is entirely intrinsic. After all, to exists we need a decent amount of confidence, don’t you agree?
What happens then is we either lose it due to our fears or we are jumping into arrogance to escape our fears. Essentially both of these are the same, with a different outcome. They are driven by our judgements about who is better or worse and by our “fake” values.
For example, let’s imagine that you believe that “good” people are better than “bad”. In this case, you will feel more “self-confident” if you believe you are “good person”. And you will lose your “self-confidence” when you think you are “bad” person.
When you learn to recognise that these values are fake, you will gain two things:

  1. Suddenly every person will deserve respect, irrespective of who they are and what they do.
  2. Your respect for yourself and your self-confidence will become unshakeable.

Even more, than that, you will completely forget the whole topic of self-esteem, because it will become a part of you, same as your heartbeat.
By the way, Dunning-Kruger effect describes arrogance, not confidence ;) Real self-confidence allows you to assess your capabilities in a calm manner, without overestimating or underestimating them.

All the best
Sergey

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