I can never have enough. I'm having a drink, I need another one. I'm having some hummus, I need more. I'm having a blast with friends or coworkers, I need another one. But it gets dark.
I'm never satisfied. My wife says she's feeling better, but I need more. My wife says she'll feel better tomorrow, but I need more.
It is never enough. I don't know why. I do know it has something to do with the feeling of not being good enough. But I do not understand how it all ties together. But somehow it does.
I know my life is a path. I know it is often a struggle. I know it's a passage. I trust it is what I can handle, but that does not mean it is easy.
Why did I get dealt the cards I got dealt?
I know. Because I can actually deal with them.
But even I'd like to be relaxed sometimes. Without worry. Letting it go. Being at peace with it all. But it's not my path. I have the long road. Well, in my mind, compared to others, the long road. I cannot know other people's struggles. But mine feel heavy. Sometimes a little too heavy for me to carry. I'm only one person. I'm not strong (physically). I eat veggies only. My mind races 24/7. And I have to deal with a lot. It is apparently my job to help my wife not loosing her mind. Ups and downs. Ups, and downs. Man. Fuck. I need a rest. Of a thousand years. Please. Let me rest. The sleep of angels. The sleep of angels. Angels.