this Pew Research study shows that men and women are harassed online roughly equally, with a slightly higher number of women than men as victims of stalking and sexual harassment. http://www.pewinternet.org/2014/10/22/online-harassment/
this study contradicts your claim that “ It is openly known that women on the internet are subject to far greater amounts (and intensity) of harassment and abuse than men. This is a pattern and it’s pervasive.” Men get harassed just as much as women. women may be likely to receive more of different kinds of harassment but the total harassment is roughly equal.
By the definition of harassment in VidCon’s Code of conduct, a panelist who deliberately and unprovokedly insults a member of the audience is guilty. If Carl Benjamin had made any disturbance from his seat in the audience, he would have been escorted out immediately, and perhaps rightly so. But he sat there quietly, until Anita Sarkeesian could not contain her personal dislike of him and used her power as a panelist to insult him when he could have no recourse for action. At which point he simply expressed a desire for debate.