Please be kind to your parents, please.
We live in a world that is going through interesting times and a world that is changing faster than ever. What this means is that the world that our parents grew in was drastically different then the world we are growing up in as kids and most likely our kids will be growing up in a very different world that will be strange to us.
Our parents were kids in a world where there was no smartphones, no internet, racism was widespread, blacks/gays/minorities were not given rights, jobs were easy to get, there was no trump or terrorism and the list goes on…
Sadly, this mismatch of worlds that our parents grew up means they often struggle to understand things we say or do resulting in conflict. The common conflict loop being:
Kid says or does something -> Parents disapprove of that -> Kid thinks that is annoying and says/does it anyways -> Parents tell them off -> Kid yells back for being told off -> Parents feel hurt -> Kid does not care because believes they did nothing wrong.
It’s a tough one because I get it how annoying it is for a kid when they constantly get told off for not driving fast or for being on Facebook for so long or returning home by 7pm but at the sad time nothing saddens me more than seeing a kid being disrespectful to their parents and misbehaving no matter what the reason.
I am currently doing my Women’s Health/Gynaecology rotation and in the last few weeks delivered a few babies and hands down giving birth is one of the best human experiences I have witnessed. When a mother screams in pain for hours and pushes a baby out and the parents look at each other in awe of what they have made together as they look at the baby together. The love for that baby in the eyes of the mum and dad is one of the most beautiful emotions I have come cross. Having seen that kind of love shown by parents to their kids, when the same baby grows up one day and misbehave to the very parents because they are annoying and do not understood what’s cool it breaks my heart.
I am not saying you have to do everything in life exactly how they want it just because they gave you birth, it’s okay to disagree and do things they do not approve of completely. But what I do feel is important is do that in a kind way.
An example being, ‘Mum I understand this is hard for you to get but I really want this and I think this will make me really happy and I know how much you love me and want me to be happy.
Instead of, ‘Aaaaaah mum you’re so annoying, you never support me. You knew this is one thing I wanted in life so bad but you guys can never see me happy, I hate you guys.
Please know doesn’t matter how annoying they are in the bottom of their heart they only have utmost care, love and affection for you. They express a kind of love that nobody, nobody can ever come close to show you. Please be kind to that love no matter how annoying that may become, one day that is all you wish for.