For the last decade, college football has knelt before a crimson oppressor. And in its shadow, it’s developed some strange habits.

At the moment, there’s a corner of the internet warming their beers in preparation for college football games. In any other context this action would seem beyond the pale. Here, it’s just a Saturday morning.

College football fandom craves disorder. It’s not its fault. The weirdness is a reflex reaction. For the better part of the last decade, seasons’ ends have been foregone conclusions. One half of college football’s national championships over the past 10 years belong to Alabama. In two other seasons, the Tide finished second. In each year since 2008 — Saban’s second on the job — they’ve…


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

Earlier this week, a miracle happened. During a family get-together at my aunt’s house, I stumbled upon an ancient relic — a portal to a past generation. Cloaked in dust, sitting in a long-neglected cupboard was a small black box with unmistakable curvature.

A Nintendo 64.

The console — discontinued in 2003 — can still be found in dorm rooms and frat houses across the nation, but no longer holds the iron throne among gaming systems. Instead, the machine has been relegated to an antique. Much like a weathered jersey, or a battered trophy, it sits as a reminder of…


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine, Kate, decided that she was going to do a cleanse. In typical drug dealer fashion, she sold me on the idea of its rejuvenating power. Actually, that’s not 100% true. Kate is an enabler. I’m the kind of person who likes to try ridiculous things, and Kate enticed me to do this. I’m not expecting it to go well.

You see, I’m what can be described as a food addict. I love it. All of it. Steak, carbs, seafood, Arabic food, Japanese food, Indian food, everything. …


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

Design by Adam May

Welcome, dear friends, to the best month in sports. March Madness is upon us. Last year, I not-so-successfully predicted every single game of the NCAA Tournament. Some of you (though probably none of you, outside of my parents) may recall my emphatic declaration that Michigan State would reign supreme, and cut down the nets in April. That didn’t exactly turn out as planned.

Now I’m back for round two. College basketball is my favorite sport. There’s just something special about a group of kids who take the same classes as your friends, family, and peers challenging other teams from around…


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

Washington D.C. is falling apart.

Not from the seemingly endless election cycle (we somehow still have like four months till Iowa), or the slow teeter to an eventual government shutdown (reset the clock to 70 days). No, Washington is quite literally crumbling. Our national monuments, though beautiful, are weathered, and fainting. Most parks have escaped servicing for decades, and have become victims of a gridlocked congress. …


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

Design by Adam May

Dear friends, it’s my honor to welcome you all to NCAA Tournamentapalooza 2016. It’s time for the best month in sports. March Madness is upon us, and I intend to embrace this hallucinogenic fever-dream of a season. I’m all in on the chaos. For the past two years, I’ve not-so-successfully predicted every game in the NCAA Tournament. Third time is the charm, right?

Basketball is my favorite sport, and I favor college basketball to the pros. The quality may not be as high, and the pace may be slower, but there’s something inherently amazing about a group of kids you…


(This story was originally published on Raleigh & Company)

Design by Adam May

Hello, comrades. In these, our trying times, we rally together and prepare ourselves for a month of glory. This is March. And in March, we watch basketball. March Madness is upon us, and I intend to let it wash over me like an all-consuming wave, dragging me under as the siren song of the mermaids calls out that Wichita State got screwed by the committee and Carolina didn’t deserve a 1 seed.

Last season, I put my faith in Tom Izzo, and like any good Spartan, he made sure I regretted it. I’m looking at you, guy who stole my…


This story was originally published by the Duke Political Review on November 4, 2016.

It’s hot.

Too hot for early November. I share my disdain for the sun with another reporter in the press pen, who turns, and chuckles.

“Don’t worry. Global warming is a myth, remember?”

We’re flanked on our right by 16,200 others — many of them students — who came here today to see the President of the United States. We’re less than a week away from the election, and whatever remnants of the confidence Democrats exuded two weeks ago is gone. The gap in the polls…


This story was originally published by the Duke Political Review on November 8, 2016.

Courtesy of Shaker Samman | Duke Political Review

Lady Gaga was there.

Just after midnight — at 12:08 a.m., before Clinton’s traveling press arrived — the popstar appeared on stage to the sound of thunderous applause.

“What I’m asking you right now is to be in this moment with us, and fight for your children, and your future,” Gaga said. “Hillary Clinton is made of steel. Hillary Clinton is unstoppable.”

In a campaign marked by wickedness, and vitriol, Gaga preached civility.

“If we are true Americans,” Gaga said, “then we must go from viewing…


I have no idea who the fuck this is

After years of, you know, being alive, the time has come. Alex Siquig has to die.

It may sound shocking. Alex is still young! Well, not as young as I am, but young relative to the median American lifespan. And yet here we are, gazing death in the face with nothing but understanding, and anxiety. Most of us knew this day would come sooner than later, though I suspect few thought it would happen now.

Alex Siquig must die. And not in the cool way like John Tucker or Bill from Kill Bill (Volumes I and II). …

Shaker Samman

This is unfortunate. Editorial Assistant at The Ringer.

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