I grew up in Cedar Rapids. My stepfathers anger-rage was similar maybe worse. I don’t really know about how it was for you. For me it fucking sucked !
By seven years old I became stoic and accepting to his alcohol-fueled fury. Avoidance just prolonged it and I could handle the physical attacks careful to not overly excite his rage. I never cried in his presence it would make matters worse.
My step sister 10 years my junior was (she claims) verbally abused. I often stepped in or took a beating to protect her.
He was a workaholic with a terrible anger who would get overexcited and beat the crap out of me. To be clear I was a small boy he was a muscular athletic man and in one instance my slow reaction to a sweeping kick that severely bruised and almost fractured my femur in turn meant I couldn’t walk or go to elementary school for a week.
So it turned into another hassle with my pediatrician doctor, who almost reported it. He knew dear old step-dad from the Country Club so as always I played along too.
Much to my mothers' relief. She was of the mind that i probably was naughty and deserved to punished.
What resonated about your story was the sibling’s estrangement.
I haven’t physically been with or talked to my sister for fun socially in probably close to a decade.
After her dad died she moved without even telling me. Upper Midwest twin cities to Florida taking most of the remaining inheritance for herself.
I wonder often about why? I was so close to her then it all changed with our mothers passing and his death a few years later.
Thanks for sharing, I try to say this doesn’t define me as an adult. That’s a lie. From stress response to avoidance and my own feelings of self-worth and abandonment the toll and damage caused by physical violence is awful for lack of a better word.
But my thoughts were at least he’s not my genetic father .
I am processing his death currently. My sister and I barely communicate as I am having trust issues-