A life-changing thing I tried: Item #1

An Electric Toothbrush

It whirrs and spins and twirls and bobs inside my mouth, spreading that sweet, sharp taste of peppermint and some blue chemicals of my toothpaste with super-enhanced smile-protector turbo-gel beads. I stand in front of my bathroom mirror barely moving my hand side to side, doing the least minimum I possibly can. Let the machine do it’s job, I think.

If you are like me, a human with superior skills of comprehension and unparalleled apathy towards oral health, then the electric toothbrush is for you. I learned early on in life that teeth are sorta important. Sometimes I lay awake at night letting my mind wander where it mustn’t. What do apples taste like? Sound like? Is eating corn on the cob really the breathtaking experience it appears to be? What kind of grandmother will I be if I can’t hoard hard candy in my purse? I may never know.

But let me get back to my buzz marketing here, the very thing I’m being paid many many influencer bitcoins for. I bought an electric toothbrush and it is amazing, my teeth feel great and it has been a life-changing experience.

I leave with this song from Crazy Ex-girlfriend explains that buzzing in the bathroom. Enjoy!

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