The First Chapter of a Victorious Life
She said I miss you first.
he had a dream. She woke up very early in the morning. Well, more like in the middle of the night. She had a dream about them two walking together towards the park.
It was a very nice and sunny day, early in the afternoon. He was there standing next to her, very close. She was peaceful, smiling and glowing. Her heart full of joy, bursting with love. She felt like giving affection to every person close to her in her life. So she grabbed his hand. He let go of hers and put his in his pocket. She ignored it. She didn’t want it to affect her. She was different now. A brand new person, willing to love no matter how people will — or not — respond. He took his phone and dialled a number. She kept looking around admiring the surroundings. Everything was so beautiful. It was such a great day. The couple passing by them complimented her. They say she’s got a lovely hair cut that suits her oval face perfectly. A face that never needed make up: natural, spotless, smooth. See? she says to herself, people can see how great you are. He couldn’t see it. She heard him talking to this person on the phone. He took his honey sweet voice, very soft, full of affection and admiration. The joy in her heart changed into a wound. Hearing this was like taking a knife and slowly carving in heart and leave it open so it could bleed out. It hurt. It hurt bad. Very deeply. There’s nothing more hurtful than indifference. He didn’t hate her. He just didn’t care about her anymore.
When she woke up, she felt in complete despair, in deep sadness. The burn in her chest was just unbearable and left her breathless. She tried inhaling and exhaling but the suffering was just increasing. Tears fell down her face. She wished she didn’t care. She wished she didn’t love him anymore. No. She wished she never loved him. Never met him. Never knew how sweet, generous and so affectionate he could be. When he loves you. When he cares about you. But he didn’t. Not anymore.
All she felt was confusing. It was all blurry. For some reasons, all she could remember was love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. So she took her phone and tried to call. No answer. A voice in her head told her she was stupid, ridiculously dumb for wanting such a thing! After how he treated you? After how he ignored you? He made you cry! Why would you want to show him how much you love him and he matters to your life? Why?
Because I should never be ashamed of loving someone and wanting to do the right thing. He matters to me and I truly, sincerely care about him. If he rejects me, I won’t reject him. I will never be afraid of loving and caring for someone and wanting to do the right thing. NEVER!
So she took her phone and typed what she’s been wanting to tell him for so long. What she’s been afraid to share because of fear of rejection.
Fear will no longer get hold of her. It will not stop her from living fully and freely. No. Even if he doesn’t care, she’ll follow her heart and move on.
I miss you.
There. Message sent.
The day went by. She waited. She’s been waiting for a reply. A sign. Something. Sending this text initiated an inner battle. But at the end, she won. Because no matter what happens, what she did today will prevent her from letting fear holding her back. What she did today, is the first step towards a victorious, and glorious life. No longer broken, no longer lost, she’s wholeheartedly her.
This was A Short Story on The Power of Vulnerability.