I can’t write without my heart

Because when I write, it’s my heart talking.

I tell my heart to shut up all the time. When it wants to say it bleeds, when it wants to express joy. When it wants to say I love you to all the people (almost) who surround me. I tell it to just shut up !

Why ? Well, the world isn’t ready for it. The world isn’t ready for it sincerity and honesty. Plus it’s hyper sensitive, people don’t like that. So l try to protect it. Yeah, by making it quiet when it comes to express itself. At least out loud.

But my heart doesn’t let go so easily. No no. It fights. And it fights hard. It won’t let me sleep, doesn’t let me concentrate, it has to let it out. So it pushes me to write. So I write.

I tried to write journalistic papers, business articles, you know, these stuffs that require your heart to be out and you just stick to the facts. Yes I tried. And I can say that against my heart I don’t have much strength. I mean, I am really weak. Think about it. If my heart is the core of me, and I have to fight against it, what do I fight it with ? My mind ?? My body ? Laughing out loud. Laughing out loud. I’ve surrendered the latter to my heart long time ago. Because I believe that loving is the only way to live. It’s just a matter of coordination. And understanding that love is action. Not a feeling.

Anyway, back to the subject.

I can’t write without my heart. Whatever I will write, it will always be my heart talking. When it aches, the words will bleed on the page. When it bursts out of joy, words will be jumping up to your face.

Yup, it’s straight up like that.

Sometimes I just hope it calms down. It really is too much. Even I can’t handle it. I just have to accept it the way it is. Don’t l ?

What else can I do ?

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