Single Doesn’t Always Mean Available

A Gentle Reminder to Myself

Photo by Jason Blackeye on Unsplash

I recently made my relationship status public on Facebook for whatever it’s worth in 2018. To be honest I probably was subconsciously influenced by others. In the past I would joke to myself that I wouldn’t reveal it until I was actually married. Ceremony (most likely courthouse), documents signed and Prenup. What you seriously think I would get married without one…uh no. Yes I can be a starry-eyed, poetry writing, in my feelings INFP but not dumb. For the majority of the time my relationship status has only been viewable to myself. I think I did change it briefly when I was dating someone who declared us as a couple after one date. He was one of those big PDA types. You probably figured from my previous statements I’m not or more accurately not comfortable with it. I set the privacy settings so he was the only one who could see it. This satisfied his need for declaration and mine for privacy. This was also a reaction to all the drama that used to surround this seemingly arbitrary bit of information.

I say arbitrary because it really doesn’t tell you anything about that person. Single can mean so many different things.

So the following are some possible explanations behind someone’s ‘Single’ status. For the next time you’re Facebook creeping or snooping for a friend.


  • Maybe the person was a serial monogamist who is declaring their pride in finally satisfied being alone.
  • Possibly the person is affirming themselves as being a bachelor or bachelorette.
  • Single could be a indication of their tax-filing status and not actual relationship status. Ok this is probably not the case but maybe one person does this.
  • They don’t want a relationship
  • They’re relationship is too new to make it “Facebook official.
  • Or it can be a signal to only select few and not an invitation to others.
  • They forgot to change it.
  • Facebook relationship statuses are arbitrary to them too.
  • There’s just not into you
  • They’re actually single and looking (what a concept)
  • Or just ask… derp.

Yes this is my thought process. Nice to meet you too.


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