An Elevator Pitch a Preschooler Can Get

I was presenting alongside a business coach colleague of mine this morning on the topics of off-line marketing and self-promotion, and heard her ask her group of clients the following question:

“Are you confident enough and able to sell your product or services while standing in line at the airport? At Starbucks?”

This got me thinking. Over the course of my career I have had extensive sales and marketing training to include the creation and execution of a good old “elevator pitch”. I’ve been teaching this to my clients for years. All of us have probably had this training, as it applies to us all, every day, and not just in our paid work, but in our self-branding as well. When you think about it, every job has a sales pitch. Dating has a sales pitch. Marriages have a sales pitch. Sports teams have a sales pitch. I get paid to write sales pitches. The goal however, is to get the person or group of people you are addressing to come seek you out and learn more about you and what you have to offer after your presentation. (It feels really good, doesn’t it?). I love it when that happens.

Once my colleague finished asking her question, her clients all stared blankly at her, their mouths slightly fell open, and the faint sound of “errrrrr” could be heard in the room. I knew exactly what they were thinking. They were thinking that the person in line behind you at the TSA check-in is trying to take cuts because they are running late (and are on the same flight as you), or are yelling into their phone to a friend or family member for everyone around to hear. The folks in the Starbucks line just want the line to move so that they can get their drink and get on with their day, neither of which are good scenarios for talking up your game. This is not to say you shouldn’t talk up your game if the opportunity presents itself, but we should really be mindful of the time and the place, as well as other people’s time. (Far be it for me to upstage or interrupt my colleague’s presentation, so I came back to my office to share this nugget with you.)

Now the elevator, that is the perfect place for the quintessential elevator pitch. The other person is trapped, they can’t run, and you have to be so succinct in your approach to make this work well. There are plenty of places on the internet where you can learn how to write a great elevator pitch, just use your google or hang out with me for a couple of hours.

“… not everyone who hears your pitch is going to comprehend what it is that you actually do”

But what I want to express to you is that not everyone who hears your pitch is going to comprehend what it is you do, given we all work in different environments, parts of the country or world and at various socioeconomic levels. Like the random folks you’ll meet in line at the airport, right? They could be from literally anywhere in the world, and hopefully you’ve got at least one speak-able language in common. For this reason, you have to be able to give your elevator pitch to a preschooler to ensure you are getting your message across. Go grab your preschooler, or your colleague’s preschooler for this lesson. I’ll wait here.

I’m back and you and Tommy should be as well. Here’s how it will go:

“Hi Tommy, I’m Ms. Noetzli. I work in public relations, do you know what that is? I help people make themselves and their companies more popular.” Now, if Tommy was raised with good manners, he would respond with something like: “Oh, cool, Ms. Noetzli. Can I work with you? My parents let me watch Big Brother, and the people on that show are really popular! I want to be popular too!”

You see? ENGAGEMENT. You just spoke to someone on their level, a place where they can comprehend what you are relaying, and making it accessible to them regardless of your age, gender or education. The only caveat here that you have to be careful to not be too condescending. Your goal is to be clear and concise. Tommy just got off the elevator knowing what it is that I do, and if I had tried to give him the more technical version, he would have lost interest and pushed all the call buttons at once and I would have been screwed for the next 10 minutes while together we stop at every floor.

In summary, it’s about getting out of your own way and keeping it simple. If the person you are speaking with wants to know more, they will ask. We don’t always have to show that we are smarter than the average bear, or cram our message down their throats, we just need to be mindful of how we communicate and relate.

Now, if Christian Grey had gotten on that elevator, I probably would have given different advice. I’ll let you know when that happens, but in the meantime, go practice your elevator pitch with your nephew and see what you come up with. I bet there are some sales to be made with this resurrected approach.