Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am
Hillary Clinton [parody]
12.6K632

I wish Hillary actually wrote this (wait, I didn’t read any of the comments below; they probably all say exactly the same thing I just wrote).

Like, if Hillary posted that picture of her on Ellen, and wrote in marker across the top in her own handwriting “Fucking Kill Me” I’d be even happier to vote for her. Politicians don’t have to be honest, god, Allah, you, and I all know that. But I want one with a sense of humor who doesn’t take themself too seriously. Like when Obama sings a Marvin Gaye song or something. I love Obama, PS; I lived overseas in 2008, and when he won, people from 10 different countries came up to me on the goddamn street — I was almost crying! — congratulating me. Telling me that [insert all their countries here] Finns, Poles, Brits, the French, Chinese people, and Germans had SO much more respect for America now, now that we were trying not to be such haters on our black citizens, now that we weren’t just making up WMDs so we could invade all of the oil-rich countries (or invade them because they’d made our fathers angry and we wanted revenge, whatever reason Bush, the son, gave for invading Iraq. I wasn’t here then, honestly, I didn’t keep that close of track, I was really busy in ’06 and ‘07). But my wife and I sure as hell voted! Thank you Democrats Abroad for getting us our mail-in ballots!

Anyway, Hillary, make a good joke. Try not to take any Goldman-Sachs money, and do your best. Since I can’t have The Bern, I’m voting for you. I’d shoot myself in the head before I voted for that idiot, Tr*mp!

Like what you read? Give Shawn Schmid a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.