I am a Woman. You are a Trans Woman. And That Distinction Matters.

That was a jam, Olivia Broustra! I hear the words coming out of your mouth.

I am a white male with ALL of the privileges in our misogynistic and racist American institutions, in our Rape Culture — for many people — stop reading after I said that, right. (No question mark necessary.)

Have you read the book about the wife of a trans woman who began her transition after having a child with her hetero- wife? How the leaders in the family’s shared religion congratulated and cheered on the trans woman for her courage, a lá Caitlyn Jenner?

I looked it up: Sex Changes: A Memoir of Marriage, Gender, and Moving On, by Christine Benvenuto. I had a strange experience:

I was in the library when we lived in my favorite place we ever lived, in CA, to pick up a book. I checked New Nonfiction, and saw Sex Changes, sat down to have a look, and I read the whole goddamn book in an afternoon.

I’d just never read that woman’s point of view! She was like this author, liberal, no hater of groups, or LGBTQ, Trans, black or white or Muslim. I have a curse & blessing to always see both sides and I felt so badly for that family. Oh no! (I’m a father, too), the father is going Trans on his family! Shit, that’s going to be tough on them all, small children and all.

Then the woman said, no worries, everyone treated the husband well as he transitioned into the wife — or one of the two wives, now.. They tried to make it with the kids so they understood something unusual was happening. I was ready to believe it could work.

They rest of the book was told from the point of view of our fearless narrator, the mother. It was a nightmare, in her opinion. She was NOT into it, at all. She was like, uh, honey, I had a pretty strong opinion about marrying a man, and having children, and you know? I don’t want to be a lesbian, sooo… beat it.

So the church (Jewish Temple I think — I’m an atheist so they’re all the same to me in that I don’t attend the local Muslim prayer Mosque, or the Schul, Church, or Scientology VIP Center, equally) was on the Wife 2's side, as was the former husband’s job’s HR Department, and most family friends.

Wife 1 was left feeling abused, neglected, cast-out, and poor. Briefly, she detailed some inappropriate behavior by the W2, on her enforced by court visits with the kids, like, let’s play dress-up with a ten year old daughter by W2 while she was still transitioning — not observing society’s parent-child acceptable behavior.

It was a horror story. I had only read liberal, pro-trans-tolerance literature, and I was shocked and appalled by the story.

I just see both sides. Do not abuse women! We already live in American Rape Culture, where 4% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, the rest (mostly white) men. Men mostly decide who gets arrested for rape on college campuses, sometimes checking the perp’s swim team times before deciding whether to prosecute. I have a daughter, so fuck that!

I also agree that no vulnerable group should be abused in America — I think the GOP Party is based on abusing all vulnerable groups, starting with the poor #1, women, homeless, criminals & ex-prisoners, LGBTQ and Trans people, Muslims, immigrants , anyone with less power than all of the white (mostly) multimillionaire Members of Congress, who do not seem to represent me, whatsoever, only because I’m not a millionaire; and I’m a white male! I can’t imagine being black and being guilty until proven innocent every time I leave the house, or walk into a shop.

So it’s difficult for me ever to side AGAINST a vulnerable group. At the same time, I certainly do not believe any of these groups should be able to abuse women.

Women’s rights are human rights. National Healthcare is a human right. #Resist until the richest country on earth receives that bare minimum of human decency, the right to be healthy. (& educated through University or Trade School with a job, at least, like in the EU)

I wish all the best of luck to this author, and I hope she receives no trolling, mean comments, because she exercises her right to free speech based on truly held personal opinion.

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