Mission Smelly Feet

Mr. Smelly Feet

I was traveling as a passenger on a Emirates flight from Beijing, China to Dubai. After all the immigration shenanigans i finally get aboard to a packed Boeing 777. To avoid sitting in a tiny seat and being asked to move all the time i usually take the last bus to the aircraft, if theres an Aerobridge then i am the last in the line. I usually checkin online and ask for the exit row as being 6'2 and the little leg space between the seats is totally a pain and gets worst if the passenger in front reclines the seat thinking nobody exists behind him. I am in my seat all set to head back to Dubai. I usually avoid eating the airline food as being an ex flight attendant i know how healthy and fresh the food is. Once we up in the air in cruise phase i power up my kindle and start reading the book i had just bought, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami. I had heard it was a fantastic book and couldn't wait to get started. The crew start with a round of drinks and i had a Chardonnay and the meal service commenced. As soon as the clearance was done i started getting a really bad stink and in a few minutes it just got really bad to an extent where i thought i would passout. I tried to not be one of the annoying passengers and ignore it, i power off my kindle and try to get some sleep, unfortunately that wasn't meant to be. I decide to go use the restroom any excuse to avoid the stink. On my way back before taking my seat i see the Gentleman sitting behind me sleeping with his shoes and socks off and there it was the secret to the lovely smell. I asked the crew to do something about it, she said i cant tell him which is true because she would come across rude so she sprays an air freshner and it just got worst. I decided i needed to try something on my own. I go up to galley explain the situation to the crew and tell them i am an ex flight attendant and they should try my method. Coffee powder/beans was the answer as it takes in the smell if not completely it would definitely make it bearable. So i take two coffee pillows and a bottle of Nescafe, and head to my mission. Mission smelly feet. I make sure hes asleep and then sprinkle the coffee powder near his feet and put the coffee pillows and turn the AC vent to the direction where i had placed the pillows so that even if a little of the air hit the pillow it would probably give out a better smell. Keeping my fingers crossed i sit down on my seat. Well .. the smell did get better by a margin but i just decided to keep sniffing on some coffee as that seemed the best thing to do. I somehow survive the ordeal and make it to Dubai.

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