I enjoy this post as I see so much of my past life in it. Part of the problem I think it’s the framing. Rather than framing it as an either-or, dependable-but-boring or flakey-but-fascinating trade-off, I think the key is exactly what you said: uncovering what’s actually important — a loving heart and honesty.
Loving and honesty doesn’t have anything to do with boring or interesting. It’s just when we encounter that Byron we are so enthralled (yes we’ve all been there) that we overlook the fact that he doesn’t have the basics until it all burns up spectacularly. The key is finding a guy who has the basics and who still shares enough interests with you (they’re out there even if they look like a complete dork on the outside!), and then to love him wholeheartly and nurture your relationship.