On Body Positivity: Loving This Mess
Here's to taking it one day at a time.
Every body is a messy body. Regardless of how we feel about them, this much is true. So it's only natural that our thoughts and our feelings about these bodies would get messy too.
My messy body comes with so many conflicted feelings. My body that's traveled across the US, trekked through Holland and Trinidad. My body that's been selfish and kind and quiet and loud.
This body often feels so weak. Big, yet puny. Out of shape. This body that spent 38 hours in labor for my daughter and couldn't walk for a week. This body that went through a painful D&C years earlier.
I think a lot about getting more in tune with this body. Well, getting in tune with it at all, because I don't think we have ever been on the same page. Disease taught me to fight this body from such and early age. The church took that war so much deeper.
How do we tangibly love these bodies we so easily abuse?
Why is body love so hard for most of us to grasp?
Sometimes I wonder--we're given these bodies we didn't ask for. We never know what these bodies can do until we try. And none of us can be completely certain where the boundary between "me" and my body lies.
Today I tried to love my body. Give it rest and peace, good nutrition and a break. I tried to talk to it and say, "You deserve love. You are not a burden. You are not broken."
I spoke to my body like a friend, and whispered all my hopes and dreams into it. It felt both awful and awkward. But I think it might get better, so tomorrow I will try again.
Maybe this is how we love our bodies... one day at a time. With healthy habits and plenty of hope that someday we'll be able to see ourselves completely--warrior bodies and all.