The Multi-Hyphenate Myth That Hurts Women
When I was a new single mom, homeless and struggling beneath the weight of my new responsibilities, people I barely knew had plenty of advice to give.
One man in particular, the founder of a ministry supposedly aimed to mentor single moms, said this:
“You can’t just be a mom. You need to make sure there’s more to yourself than motherhood.”
I’m sure some folks are nodding their heads thinking, what great advice. Do you know what? I never thought it was so great. In fact, I found the whole sentiment nauseating.
In my five-plus years of motherhood, I have found no shortage of people who will warn me of the great importance of being more than one thing. But in particular, I am supposed to be more than a mom. Whatever that means.
To put it all into perspective, I imagine these same people telling a man that he must be more than a dad.
It’s ridiculous, really.
Everybody knows that a father is already much more than that. Then why is so hard to believe that a mother isn’t also inherently more?
I suppose this is the first big problem I have with the multi-hyphenate myth. It comes with this underlying assumption that most people aren’t already more than one thing.
