Virginity Is a Myth
And it hurts women the most.
If you were born in the 70s or 80s and your family was Christian, you probably know a thing or two about purity culture. It all hinged upon the idea that virginity was a chief priority of your existence — something that must be upheld at all costs.
Youth leaders, parents, and Christian writers all warned about the dangers of losing your virginity before marriage. Not only would you become “impure,” but you’d also be cheating on your future spouse, and subjecting yourself to a lifetime of bad sex. They warned that having sex with more than one person would basically make you unhappy in bed because you’d forever compare your past and present partners.
Purity culture fought hard to draw a line in the sand when it came to which activities were and were not okay before marriage. Kissing, holding hands, and even being alone with a member of the opposite sex were all slapped with warnings like “proceed with caution” or “avoid the appearance of evil.” Most leaders advised we avoid any touching at all because it would likely lead to sex.
I grew up with all of these religious lessons about sex which said my value would be diminished if I lost my virginity. That I’d be disappointing God. And even in the secular world, virginity was a big deal too. American Pie and 40-Year-Old Virgin were just…
