When I Say I'm Demisexual
People have questions.
When it comes to sexuality, some people like labels, and some people don't. For me? I like having labels to help explain how I'm wired, but I have to admit that when I tell someone I'm demisexual, it's often misunderstood.
After writing several stories about sex and mentioning that I'm demisexual, I've been meaning to explain myself further, and today a reader asked me to expound. So Sandee Putman Vermaas, this one's for you!
There are so many facets and dimensions to sexuality. More than one spectrum. We each exist on multiple spectrums, some more fluid than others. Some very specific and others more broad.
In my case, I am a demisexual, hetero, cis female, and I lead with this label whenever I consider dating someone new. Here's how I define my demi label (others may vary on a few points).
It's a kind of asexual.
First, I have to note that demisexuality rests on the asexual spectrum--which took me a while to grasp since I never thought of myself as asexual. Truth be told, I've got a high sex drive.
The reason demisexuality is considered a variation of asexuality is simply because a demisexual person doesn't experience attraction to a person unless they feel a deeper connection.
